i\\\'m sitting here cutting open razor blades...knowing full well that i am going to fuck myself up, again. you people are just going to skim right though this and move on with your lives, but you know what? hurting myself IS my life. i live to fuck myself up and act like nothing is happening. i can\\\'t even tell people how i\\\'m feeling because they WILL be disappointed in me. no one gives a fuck about me, anyway. i don\\\'t care how self-pitying this sounds.