Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by tintin, Jun 18, 2008.

  1. tintin

    tintin Guest

    wel thats my thread gone. easiest way in everyones eyes. that isnt even what made me feel so down and upset and bleurgh once again people are assuming.. well its gone so everyone can be appy?!?! dont no where am supposed to stand in this? I'm fine whatever just ignore me am nothing nobody invisible unfeeling whatever.. I'm fine :unsure:
  2. jonstark

    jonstark Well-Known Member

    You aren't invisible :no: Salute for you, Becca! :groupwave
  3. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    I'm not sure what all the fuss that people apparently made was here, but just wanted to give you hugs, Becca :) :hug:
  4. tintin

    tintin Guest

    well today didnt go to bad was close to tears but not allowed to cry so w/e. i like that word fits me so much w/e... saturday going to be hard one who year its gne fast :( now thers 3rd of july to prepare for.. but before that 24th June, 29th June going to be a shit arsy couple of weeks. need to increase the dieting and exercise not thin enough jus a few more pounds and i will be. need to study fuck im so dumb i aint been studying been busy exercising and feeling sorry for myself not allowed thar i got to get my b/a's gotta study more sleepin isnt problem at min im tired 24/7 :unsure: i am NEVER tired must hav a bug or something :unsure: :mad::mad::mad:i will do it dad love you.
  5. tintin

    tintin Guest

    omg why me???? what did i do to you? oh sorry i was born but i'm not your's is that why you hate me so much? why didn't you just put me in care when she died?? why adopt me and make my life so much harder? i wont fuckin eat then i will jus do what u want me to.. a bowl of cereal isnt much i could work that off just with my situps but no im not allowed that am i im sorry i forgot. i will love you no matter what. no-one understands what it is like i cant concentrate and im tired 24/7 but i still do everything u want me too. i do it because i love you. even when i do it u still dont love me.. u expected me to swim in the thames :blink: i did my exercises and i did my thing too the thing im not supposed to do but sorry i had to. im sorry for everything, sorry im so fucking fat,dumb,emo weak and the rest im sorry im sorry. i will work harder i promise. I Love You.
  6. tintin

    tintin Guest

    im so sorry mum. i tried so hard to please him it just never happens i want to give up stop pushing my probems on people who have enough to worry about it maybe i should just shut my mouth and slip away silently. No-one would notice. My leg is bleeding i just wish the blood would not stop, I wish i could be as brave as Joe was and just end it all. Mostly mum i wish i was with you. I need you so much mum it hurts how much i miss you. I was such a fucking idiot in London i felt like it too running off all the fucking time :mad::mad: stupid fucking me why am i so fucking stupid and pathetic. I just want to make you proud mum. You would never be proud of me if u could see me. I'm not allowed to talk about you i don't deserve too like Amy said i killed you with my looks. It's your birthday soon and i'm not allowed to celebrate it with dad but its ok because i wont be at home.. I still wont do anything though i dont wanna get in trouble. I'm sorry im such a loser mum, i mean it im sorry :( I just want my family to love me I want them to be proud. I want you to be proud of me. I'm not going to talk no more i will bottle it all up no-one needs to listen to my moans. I'm not important the issues arent important. I Love You Mum. I'm Sorry. I Miss You. I Want You. I Nedd You. I Love You So Much It Hurts. xxx R.I.P xxx
  7. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    :hug:Becca... I'm so sorry. I can't imagen the tough time you are having right now.. it seems unbareable :unsure: If you ever need to talk hun, feel free to PM me. And please don't bottle up those feelings... It doesn't do any good[I should know, I've tried].

  8. tintin

    tintin Guest

    why did i do it why? i cut that didnt help i burnt tht didnt help so y make myself sick :unsure: and thats made me feel worse i just want to give up im such a stupid waste of space im pathetic a loser a whore just pathetic! I don't deserve a life not even a shit one like this
  9. famous.last.words

    famous.last.words Forum Buddy

    you are not any of those things.
    People are making you feel like that because they are sick and evil, but you are sweet and kind. i KNOW this because i have seen it first-hand.

    They are not going to get you. i promise.
    you will make it through this.
  10. tintin

    tintin Guest

    I just want to give up just got back from run and my body is tired but still got more exercise's to do. Looking in the mirror i have spotted the flab i need to get rid of.. I can do this.. I can get down to the weight i need to be even if it kill's me.

    Mum I'm sorry I'm not going with them on your birthday, I still love you never forget that. I don't deserve to go, I willl still celebrate your birthday though. I promise. I Love You.

    Dad sorry for the C I got. I will try harder to get my B. I will do my very best to make you proud of me I promise. I will be the skinny intelligent girl you want me to be. I will make you proud to call me your daughter. I will make it so you don't want me to hide away when we have guest. I will do all this because I Love You no matter what you put me through I will always see you as my dad. I'm sirry I'm such a dissappointment I'm going to try better. I promise.
  11. tintin

    tintin Guest

    I give up.

    Sorry people on msn i keep bugging :unsure: you know who you are :hug::sorry:
    Last edited: Jun 22, 2008
  12. tintin

    tintin Guest

    Grrr... My answer to EVERYONE when they ask if i'm ok is "I'm fine." Fuck it... I'm 100% pig sick of it so fuck it!
  13. crazy

    crazy Well-Known Member

    i so can relate
  14. tintin

    tintin Guest

    Fuck it!
  15. im sorry babe, really sorry, i love you <3
    i will make sure you celebrate your mum's birthday tomorrow, im not letting you miss out, i know how much you care about her and miss her.
    i love you, but i'm not godd enough. i'm sorry.
  16. tintin

    tintin Guest

    why touch me why do it .. ugh i feel so dirty i need to bath but u wont let me.. u didnt do the usual i grant u that but rubbin it on me thats just as bad i need to wash let me fucking wash .. let me cut u out let me get rig of your smell and feel just let me get rid of me .. i hate me.. me sucks!

    LEAVE ME ALONE... that's all i want is for you to leave me alone :cry:
  17. tintin

    tintin Guest

    What a fucking idiot i am :mad: omfg what the fuck!?!?! i deserved all this i fucking did!! losing my fucking bag IDIOT!! GRRR i need a fucking slap i need to be able to use my fucking head instead of worrying over useless shit..
    dad was right to do what he did say what he said coz its true.

    REBECCA WHEN YOU EVER GNA LEARN!?!!:mad::mad::mad::mad:
  18. tintin

    tintin Guest

    agh i hate me. me sucks. me should die. me is pathetic. me whines on and on about stupid shit to people. me needs a life. me needs to stop posting and thinking it helps. me needs to punish herself me needs a slap or kick or something to knock sense into me. i need something to sort my head out. im a messed up stupid fucking whore who deserves everything she gets agh, someone jus finish me off. :mad:
    Last edited: Jul 5, 2008
  19. tintin

    tintin Guest

    I'm fine. Anyone asks I'm fine. I'm not going to say omfg I am so tempted to go pay that sacred place a no return visit. I don't work like that. I am fine. As fine as I deserve to be. I can't believe I cut there stupid stupid idiot. that's what i am a stupid fucking whore, bitch, slag slapper IDIOT!!!

    I deserve all this and so much more. I deserve to be hated to be abused to be looked at repulsivly. IM FAT a cow a big fat fucking elephant. so much fucking fat on me. it's got to go.. it's all got to go and it will even if it kills me.

    Fucking wanking bastard! Setting off flashbacks thanks a fucking bunch. For fuck sake can you smell the fear on me. I am TERRIFIED of men yet you still harrass me. DICKHEAD. :bash::bash::bash:

    But yeah I'm fine.
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2008
  20. tintin

    tintin Guest

    no-one seems to care how i am they just care bout their fucking selves.
    im scared ok im scared i can never get away from this
    im scared that one day i will be able to fall and finally end this shit
    you keep pushing me closer and closer to the edge and their is no-one pulling me back

    im sorry :cry:

    I Love You Mum Your the one person i no could never let me down always protected me and now your gone.
    I Love You Dad sand i promise i will mkake you love me back if its the last thing i do.