whatever

[justme107]

I just want to rant about how much i dislike myself. And I dislike myself for disliking myself, because what have I really got to complain about. I saw an angle of myself n a mirror laast night that made me realize, made me SEE how fat I am. I hate it b/c I look disgusting and b/c its a lack of willpower. I can't seem to stop eating sugar. I'm disgusting and my clothes don't fit. I keep putting more in the too small pile. F***. I had lost so much weight and now I look like every other person who just gains back plus 5. But I think off meds i wouldn't have gained it back. And without my foot problems which limit my mobility and blah blah blah. I just wish it weren't true. and i know how hard and long it was to lose it last time. I don't have the will to do that again. When i hit 200, i'm going off the meds. That should be in about 11 days or so. lol. I'm a pig. I cut myself no slack. My weight is what is bothering me today and the mess my apartment is. Can't seem to keep up. And it's really tiny and there's only me. And it's not like i'm busy with friends all the time with no time leftover to pick up. I'm very upset today. Very. If I get something done will I feel better? maybe. i'm going to at least do the dishes before i crawl back into bed. Want to cut myself, want to cry, want to lose 60 pounds. even the smileys aren't cheering me up. please, no one tell me to get off my fat ass, get moving and stop eating everything in sight. i know that. i do. apparently, i just like to feel sorry for myself.

 

[me_]

:hug:
Don't be so hard on yourself hun, we are all humans, it happens to so many people. Look at Janet Jackson ... she let go of herself, and gained a lot of weight too, but then she got the willpower and she lost it with diet and exercise. I know, it's easier for her with a personal trainer and a shef, but after all it's the willpower. Because she had the personal trainer and the shef before, still she gained weight. So maybe you feel you don't have the power now, but that can change.
You seem so frustrated now, maybe that's another reason why you are eating much. You gained the weight and that's it, you can't change that, it's done. Being frustrated about it doesn't help, it makes the situation worse. Try to accept it and do something about it. Don't think about the fact that you lost it and you gained it back. Just concentrate on what you'll do about it.

 

[TLA]

Justme107,
You really should cut yourself some slack!!! I do not have a weight problem, but we all have our issues. When you want to munch, try to take alternatives that are healthy grapes(fruits) or peanuts, Chicken, water to fill you up, lemonade, herbal tea (hot and cold). Try not to monitor yourself and just slowly change small habits. Then, one day when you weigh in, you can be surprised. If you think, I CAN do it. You might succeed.
I am trying to cut down the chocolate, ice cream too. It is a battle thats for sure.

I am glad you took the time to rant and tell us.

I have some same issues--Like you said 'I will do one thing today' that is what you have to do. Everyday, baby steps. One thing....hang those clothes, do a load of wash, wipe the counters down. vacuum a little, write a letter. Do what you feel ok with. This is not a contest. The only one that races you is YOU.

You want to do better, or else you would not bother to come here and read/write. This is a good forum and ppl do care.

Meds- ask your dr. or social worker if there is an alternative drug that does not make you crave to eat (sweets, carbs, etc)? If not, can they prescribe you a weight loss drug?? Can you get a buddy to walk with? Or a neighbors dog?

PM me if you need to talk.

I hope this helps and know there are others that have this stupid damn problem too. Stay safe!

TLA