What's Abuse?

Discussion in 'Domestic Abuse' started by horsie_gurl, Mar 2, 2007.

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  1. horsie_gurl

    horsie_gurl Member

    Could it be from a sibling?
    Could it be when they say they hate you every day
    Could it be when they punch you because you got in an argument
    Could it be when they threaten to kill you
    Could it be when they tell you you're too stupid to help

    If so. I guess im abused. By a sister. The only thing is, everyone says its just a sibling rivalry. But none of my friends have siblings that actually punch and kick and pull hair and try to start an argument. My friends have siblings that they get along with and look up to and occasionally get into argument with.

    but maybe i just dont see it and this is all a sibling rivalry.
     
  2. mike25

    mike25 Well-Known Member

    Could it be from a Dad?
    Could it be when they address you as 'oi, prick'?
    Could it be when they punch you regularly for trivial reasons?
    Could it be when they threaten to kill themselves if you leave?
    Could it be when they exert control over most aspects of your life, from education to friends to how many hours you sleep etc?
    Could it be when they take pleasure in humiliating you in public?
    Could it be when they verbally abuse you every day, 7 days a week, with terms such as 'F**k pig'.... 'Stupid looking C**t'.... 'Sap'..... 'Dopey Fu**er'..... 'W**ker'..... 'S**t bag'..... ?

    Thankfully, I left several years ago.

    I would say that sibling rivalry is a two way process. If the vast majority is one sided, then you are indeed a victim of abusive bullying. And the emotional effects of that can be devastating. Your sisters behaviour is unusually aggressive, and one has to question why?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 2, 2007
  3. horsie_gurl

    horsie_gurl Member

    When i see things like that it makes me shameful to have even put something so silly up here. My problems are nothing compared to anything anyone else will post. and yet i complain

    Maybe it is bullying. I dont know why shes so agressive. most of our arguments turn from her being unhappy over something i did or didn't do to her being violent and me blocking myself (honestly, i just can't hit her). then to me grabbing her to stop her punches and asking her till im in tears why she does it. But she never answers other than "because you're being a bitch" i never understand why. and thats all i want to know is why the hell she hates me so much! Everything i do is so she can have things easier, every bit of advice i give is so she doesn't have to make wrong decisions but she wont let me help and she gets violent for no reason. i just dont understand.
     
  4. mike25

    mike25 Well-Known Member

    Quote: When i see things like that it makes me shameful to have even put something so silly up here. My problems are nothing compared to anything anyone else will post. and yet i complain

    Please don't feel shame. It's not a competition. Any verbal abuse is wrong & hurtful, whatever form it takes. I was just trying to illustrate that I can associate with your situation. You're not complaining - you're explaining.

    You could try not giving her advice for a while, and see if she reacts differently. Just let her go her own way, and offer non-judgemental support (when she seeks it) if things go wrong. Normally, that kind of behaviour is directed at a parent. Consider asking your parents to intervene because I reckon the aggression might be a cry for help. All the best.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 2, 2007
  5. letdown

    letdown Guest

    Yes it can be from a sibling. Bullying is abuse.

    The emotional consequences of this, is like mike says, devastating.

    I feel for you.

    Perhaps you could write, or verbalise how your sisters actions and words are making you feel and make your parents aware of this. If your parents do not listen, maybe you could talk to a teacher.

    Your feelings are important. You are important. And if your sister is making you feel unsafe then your safety, physical and emotional is important. Why your sister is acting like this is not your responsibility- you can only do so much to help her turmoil but your personal safety is more important.
     
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