Sometimes, at night, I will start to think about things. I think about where I'm at in life. I think about how lonely I am. And how much I want someone to just hold me. And to say they love me. And I know, I don't have that. I don't have anyone to love me. And to tell me it will all be okay. To tell me to keep my chin up. That's what hurts me most. I'm just a child. I need protection. I need a family. A one that loves me, anyway. And oh my God, what I would give to feel someone's arms wrap around me. You know what I've always wanted to be? A daddy's girl. I have a lot of love to give. And I've always wanted to give it to him. And it's such a shame he never felt the same way. And it's such a shame that I never got the chance to tell him that. And that's a big thanks to you, Kidney Cancer. If I only had, something to stay with me. To stand by my side when those thoughts of death would pop into my head. I'm tired of being there for myself. It's not enough anymore. I'm not that strong anymore. But I continue to wait. Wait for something to happen to me. Something that will change my life. It's out there. And I want it. Do any of you know how hard this is? I bet most, if not all, of you do. It's eating me up. And I am losing patience. That's why I need someone. I cannot do this alone any longer. How are some people so damn strong?