What's going on?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by bria, Sep 12, 2007.

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  1. bria

    bria Well-Known Member

    I can't stop my heart from racing. Thoughts are going at zillion miles an hour. Keep twitching. Can't get thoughts of suicide out of my head. Feel like I am going crazy. Sitting on floor. Sleeping fiance in bed across room. Can't wake him up, has to work in three hours, not enough sleep already. Wan't cry. CAn't. Want to sleep. Can't. Want to calm down. Have too much to do tomorrow, can't be crashing now. Supposed to see doctor Friday. Have to hold out till then. Can't funcion like this. Mind moving way too fast. Body moving way too slow. Really scared. Didn't do anything to cause this. See dark self killing light self. Poof. Gone. What the hell is wrong with me? Can't hold still. exhausted. too afraid to show anyone who knows me this. Can't afford to be locked up. Slipping. I just want it to stop. Can't make it stop. Just want to sleep. Can't. Thoughts keep racing. Can't slow them down. Just go faster. Can't stop typing. Afraid of what might happen. Wan't to run. Anywhere. Just move. Too scared. City's not safe. Don't want to die at someone else's hand. Can't stop.
     
  2. bria

    bria Well-Known Member

    Hey, sorry for the outburst last night. I have some weird stuff going on right now and I am having trouble with it. Hopefully I can get it taken care of. Hope I didn't upset anyone.
     
  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    It's always good to get it out hun than sit alone with it.
    Hope today is better for you, nothing worse than being awake in the early hours with a myriad of thoughts whirling round your head :hug:
     
  4. bria

    bria Well-Known Member

    I know, and I going to talk to my therapist in an hour, but I am freaking out. I don't even know what is going on in my head. How the hell am I supposed to tell anybody else?
     
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