I can't stop my heart from racing. Thoughts are going at zillion miles an hour. Keep twitching. Can't get thoughts of suicide out of my head. Feel like I am going crazy. Sitting on floor. Sleeping fiance in bed across room. Can't wake him up, has to work in three hours, not enough sleep already. Wan't cry. CAn't. Want to sleep. Can't. Want to calm down. Have too much to do tomorrow, can't be crashing now. Supposed to see doctor Friday. Have to hold out till then. Can't funcion like this. Mind moving way too fast. Body moving way too slow. Really scared. Didn't do anything to cause this. See dark self killing light self. Poof. Gone. What the hell is wrong with me? Can't hold still. exhausted. too afraid to show anyone who knows me this. Can't afford to be locked up. Slipping. I just want it to stop. Can't make it stop. Just want to sleep. Can't. Thoughts keep racing. Can't slow them down. Just go faster. Can't stop typing. Afraid of what might happen. Wan't to run. Anywhere. Just move. Too scared. City's not safe. Don't want to die at someone else's hand. Can't stop.
