Many people on this board are living very unhappy unfulfilled lives - why are you staying alive if you dont want to? Is it religious reasons, fear of hurting your family, ect.? Do you feel that there might be hope? I feel, as I'm sure many of you do, that I'm 'forced to stay alive.' I wish I could just go to my doctor and get a prescription of <mod edit: bunny - methods> or something and end this horrid hellish nightmare of an existence. It's 2006 and we still don't have a humane ethical treatment of those that want to die - unbelievable Personally, I'm very afraid of hurting my family. I don't want to think about my parents agonizing over my death crying day in and day out. I mean, they know the exact reasons of why I want to die, but I dont think that they have yet thought through that I actually will kill myself. You see, I'm a 22 year old male college student (NYU-Stanford), I have never had a girlfriend or anything approximating it. I, at 5'5", am far too short to ever consider getting a girlfriend or mate. I noticed a pattern on this board that many of the suicidal guys here are suicidal because they cannot get girlfriends because they are too short. The truth isn't pretty, but it's true that all girls hate short men. It's a complete deal breaker. Throughout my adolescence I have had a horrible acne problem that scarred me mentally. So in high school besides being the shortest male in the school I had the worst acne. I truly wish that my parents never had me - they should have been sterilized or something. We'll now I dont really have any acne at all but I missed out in the experimental part of my life where I should have been dating and cultivating social skills. All my current friends are just losers - none of them even go to college and are content with living in crappy apartments and working crappy jobs. And if love is the greatest thing anyone can experience and I can't (because I'm deemed too short) then whats the point of even living? I see all these happy guys toting all these girls under their arms with a quality of life that I would give anything for. Being this short I feel like I'm drowning - I feel like a little kid - like I will never ever be taken seriously by anyone. I am an atheist and after chatting with some neuroscientists on the prospects of an afterlife I am 99.9999% sure that there is nothing there - a blissful non existance - a dreamless sleep. I am totally comfortable with that. Consciousness is such a terrible curse that I find myself sleeping any time I can. I'm a senior in college now and I have never had any college friends throughout my college years before and after transferring schools. What I can say is this - all these kids at the good schools have had happy good lives. And all of them look good. I used to think I'd find 'nerdy' kids in schools like Stanford, Yale, and such - the truth is is that those nerdy kids do not end up in such schools. Its so unfair. Attractive people build the necessary skills to become very successful people wheras nerds like me have the brainpower but none of the social skills. All the kids that got into Stanford came from homes where they were cultivated to be handsome, smart, and efficient -they will become successful people - I will, however, end up working at fuckin McDonalds because I have no social skills. This existence is truly a grueling hell for me.