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honestly. the only thing keeping me from doing it right now, is that i need to get some things in order, like make sure my dog will be taken care of. I want to spend some time with my son Caden, and my nephew Jeremiah who is like my son, don't want to leave til i can spend a lil time with them. Son lives with his mothers, and i never get to see him. And last but not least i want to have money set aside for my cremation and stuff, because there is no one else who'd take care of that stuff. that's it, nothing else is holding me here,
I have this silly idea that I might (as a writer) somehow change the world... It's ridiculous, because no writer ever did change the world! Even the movies that we watch so much and reveal human conditions in don't change the world. I feel so naive and ridiculous.
Failing is not what you should fear. You should treat every failures as an experience and try improving on them. The more you fear, the higher the possibility that you will fail.
What is holding me back from suicide..??
Answer: Oh well.. all the people who are suicidal.. I need to stay alive to help you.. I want to get as many ultra-marathon finisher medals as possible. I wanted to see my one and a half month old niece grew up to become a doctor to treat my asthma.
all my loved ones and all the people who have helped me before... I just don't want to disappoint all those who have helped me including strangers(counsellors) who have cared so much about me..
I have been told it will do no good. That I will not get the help I think I will get on the other side if I kill myself. So I live in hell until Its my time. But still I do beg to be taken. Beg and beg to be taken in my sleep. Someday mercy