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What's holding you back from suicide?

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TiredAndAlone

#21
I didn't up to 22, then started exercising. No, not a Rocky work-out, but some regular walks and once-a-week with some weights at home. Also stopped some eating over-indulgences, but not all. I didn't become the hulk, but just a regular guy, rather than the obese kid I was. First girlfriend was at 23, and that lasted a couple years.
So you're saying once you got into 'shape', you 'just' got a girlfriend? I find it sad that appearance is such a deciding factor in today's glamor-obsessed society :sad:
 

lebigmac

Well-Known Member
#23
I hear ya' regarding the gf situation, Hulahoon. However, at least you can wear lifts to make yourself look taller, while I'm stuck with this grotesque face no matter how much I work out or how well I dress. I know that if I was at least average looking, I wouldn't be in this predicament. Truthfully, there isn't a day that goes by where I don't want to kill myself. The only, and I mean ONLY, thing that's keeping me here is fear. I'm not religious by any means, but of course there's that very small possibility that hell does exist, and if I were to commit suicide (from what I've been taught at least) that's the only place I could end up. This whole idea of an afterlife is probably BS (so I hope), but it's just not a risk I'm willing to take. Hopefully with my unhealthy lifestyle, though, a natural death will come soon enough.
 
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TheBLA

The biggest loser ever to live.
#24
A fear of what happens after death, maybe I will go to a "hell" if I commit suicide? Although I don't want to beleive that.

My brother is my best friend and we're both inseparable, he'd be DEVASTATED if I commited suicide. I just can't do that to him.
 
#25
There's no hell after you die, I can guarantee that much at least. Just ignore anyone who tries to scare you with that tripe. We won't be rewarded for our good deeds in an "afterlife" and we won't be punished in hell. Why do I help people? Because it makes me feel good, and that's the reward in itself. Is death truly the 'end'? It's the end of life, yes.. it's the end of everything we can comprehend and understand, but that doesn't mean there isn't something greater beyond our comprehension, death is not a bad thing.

I'm not advocating suicide though, because life is not something that should be passed up. There's more to life than simply the culture you grew up in, there's more than the society and people you know, there's a hell of a lot more than people realize. Don't be fooled into believing that your current circumstances are all to expect from life, you owe it to yourself to explore, learn, and accept the challenges in anticipation of the joy and beauty that you'll find later on.

All of the problems I hear about from suicidal and depressed people are related to how other humans have treated us. Don't let other people's behavior ruin your life, it's your life, fuck anyone else who mistreats you or tries to control you. No one has the right to impose on your situation, life is a gift that each of us deserve to enjoy. Each and everyone one of you deserve to be respected and loved, I believe that 100%, and society has a lot of problems right now - but that is society that is screwed up, not you. I'm here to help change society for the better in any way I can, I decided I'm not just going to give up, throw my life away, and let other people suffer.

Whoever you are, whatever problems you're dealing with, let's get through this together. If you can make at least one person's life better, it's all been worth it. The fact is, each and every one of you have knowledge that can help us, if you're willing to look for it. Also, I guarantee there is someone out there for each of us who we'll love, and they'll love us in return, no matter how bad you think the odds are, I believe that's true. There are friends willing to accept you as well. There's so much we don't even know about. Look how far humanity has come as a species, all the work that has been accomplished. If other humans put in thousands of years worth of effort, just struggling to survive, if they did that all for me and you, there's no way I'm going to just throw it all away. I'm here to continue that struggle, and keep building onto what my ancestors started.
 

yada

Well-Known Member
#26
So you're saying once you got into 'shape', you 'just' got a girlfriend? I find it sad that appearance is such a deciding factor in today's glamor-obsessed society :sad:
Once I got into shape, I was a lot more confident and not as shy as I had always been. I found it easier to speak with girls rather than copping out as I had always done before. I actually approached her, but found out that she had been interested in me.
 
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TiredAndAlone

#27
Once I got into shape, I was a lot more confident and not as shy as I had always been. I found it easier to speak with girls rather than copping out as I had always done before. I actually approached her, but found out that she had been interested in me.
Cool. Yes confidence seems to be the key. And yet surely, she would not have been interested in you had you not looked so good?

Thanks for sharing.
 

Rukia

Well-Known Member
#29
The only reason I'm alive is the guilt. I know it would hurt my family and friends.

Remember; if you believe that you're to short to have a gf, you'll never get a gf.
Believe in your self, and the girls will come running!
My first boyfriend was shorter than me, but it didn't stop me from falling in love. It's the inner beauty that counts.
 

DepressionII

Well-Known Member
#31
A girl.

I imagine my family crying and shit and it honestly doesn't arouse any feelings at all. I am angry with them for having me, when they just should have aborted me. They really had to struggle to conceive me as well, so it's even worse, knowing that I'm such a disappointment. They try to tell me they're proud of me and shit, but whenever I go to see shrinks, she says my activities are "not normal" and "wrong" and "worrying/dangerous". It's because I spend much time on the internet, away from family (the best place to be, seriously), listen to heavy metal music and play video games. So because I don't fit into their little Utopian dream mould, I'm abnormal and dangerous.

My girl is the reason I'm not leaving this Earth. But sometimes I even try to push her away to make her leave me and I can finally commit the damn, final act.

Fuck it.
 

Forgotten_Man

Well-Known Member
#34
Ha ha well true I do not know why I am still here. I know one day I will end it on impulse.... well no because the last time I had the impulse I stopped myself in lue of not having a suicide note.

As for me, I will admit the original cause of my depression was loneliness. I am an incredibly lonely person. But I have always had people around to distract me away by being annoying. But now I feel that my depression is more about my existence which I suck at. I have horrible grades no matter how hard I try. Any work I do is average no matter how many hours I put into it. I cannot socialize I cannot do anything right I should just hide and die. I have no ambition or anything like that. And as far as finding a mate. Well fuck that I could never trust a female enough to even hug them. Because all it takes is a touch and a male get branded for life as a pervert. So I see no point in having a mate.

Generally I just try to lose myself in video games and anime. They provide a good enough illusion that I can stave off my depression. Well that and the stress from school
 

TheBLA

The biggest loser ever to live.
#35
Out of curiousity Forgotten_Man, do you have any siblings you care about? I don't have any friends nor a girlfriend either but my brother is my closest friend since we were both raised in a messed up way and are so different from everyone else. :biggrin:
Yeah, videogames, computers and cartoons (Japanese or American), both cheer me up. I really love them to death.
 

Forgotten_Man

Well-Known Member
#36
Out of curiousity Forgotten_Man, do you have any siblings you care about? I don't have any friends nor a girlfriend either but my brother is my closest friend since we were both raised in a messed up way and are so different from everyone else. :biggrin:
Yeah, videogames, computers and cartoons (Japanese or American), both cheer me up. I really love them to death.
No none of my siblings are close to me. Mainly because our lives are so different. Though my youngest sister, who is 16, is trying to get closer to me. She is getting into anime and video games slowly. But then she dives off into talks of intercourse and drugs and I realize just how far apart we are.

So the answer is no I have only my kitty who is 16 as well....:(
 

koukou63

Antiquitie's Friend
#38
Whats holding me back....

1) Fear I may not 'do it properly' and end up a vegetable
2) My husband
3) My mother
4) Fear that I will go to hell, irrational maybe but it still bothers me
and
5) Maybe somewhere deep down I am hoping against hope that there will be a cure or a new med that can change this living hell. There are new drugs coming out all the time and maybe the next one will be 'the one'. I'm surprised actually that I think that, that I can admit that......:sad:
 

TheBLA

The biggest loser ever to live.
#39
I say there's hope koukou63, look how much technology and medicine has changed in just the recent decades. Many diseases that can be taken care of now would have meant certain death for people just 20 years ago.
 
#40
whats holding me back?

well i simply cant be bothered

i am so down and feel horrible

but i cant be bothered to even do that

cause if i failed

then i'd feel even more worthless
 
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