Whats in her mind?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by mrnobody26, Sep 16, 2012.

  1. mrnobody26

    mrnobody26 New Member

    So yea... Im not gonna go on but perhaps im better asking this as its something that can help me.

    Relationship with girl who lost her virginity to me (long distance but we got 2 or 3 days together each week)
    Lasted 8 months (shes 23 and im 26)
    Up to the last week things were excellent, last time of seeing her was as usual
    In the last week our texts drifted due to problems with our home lives
    At the end of the week she tells me we should end things for the best

    I accepted it and of course was low, that night I sent a facebook message saying how I felt, with all my thoughts and she said shes maybe made a mistake in ending it and is sorry. I replied and then she said she doesnt know... its for the best maybe. I replied to that and didnt get a reply.

    As I was in no mans land I waited a week and text, asking if she had thought anymore about things. She said she still thinks its for the best, that the distance is getting to her, she said our plans seemed nothing but dreams, she felt the past few weeks she didnt want a relationship anymore and it would be untrue to carry it on. Also she ended saying she hopes I understand.

    Gutted as I was I couldnt remove her off facebook. I noticed from her statuses and pictures she had turned into this clubbing girl, going to nightclubs. To be honest I couldnt bear to look as she is a hot girl, so thoughts of all the guys chatting her up upset me. I messaged her explaining a few things, said that I couldnt remove her off facebook as I love her too much but I also cant just stand seeing stuff like that to hurt me more. I asked her to remove me if its completely what she wants and she indeed did remove me.

    I use twitter a fair bit, have 100 followers. Was on it the other week and forgot we were still following each other. I saw some of her tweets come through saying how awesome life it, how shes happy, about her going on holiday and how shes excited to be getting her own place..... The very odd thing is she only has 4 people following her. People who saw them said they were done for me to see.

    The thing that struck me as odd too was if she was over me and whatnot, why would she need to make tweets like that for me to see? She just wouldnt be bothered.

    I sent her a direct message a while later, only asking how shes been, it was a casual message.... It just got deleted with no reply.

    I dont know what her game is? Why does she hate me so much? The last time we were together we were all as normal, so its like during the time we havent been together she has started hating me or something.

    Shes still making tweets now... but why else?

    I know I will remove her off twitter and get over her... but its just going round in my head at the mo
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    She is not ready to settle down hun with anyone she is still in the party scene It is not you ok it is her she does not want to be tied down not yet You hun you go out and find someone that will care about you as you do about them Yes remove her from all your conversation sites hun I am sorry you were treated this way but best now to move on to better grounds ok hugs
  3. gloomy

    gloomy Account Closed

    Some people do not make decisions for sound, logical reasons-- they do whatever their emotions tell them to do, and can easily turn their hurting people into them being a victim, and they will always have people who will agree with them and support that, because of how it feels to be such a 'good person' and to have done such horrible things to other people, even though they don't stop doing it and they don't try to change into a better person. They can always explain things to themselves and other people later, and make them sound better than they are… and if they're a pretty girl, then chances are they'll have someone who is willing to swallow whatever BS they throw out there.

    Think of it as a Chinese Finger Trap-- the more time you try to push and pull and struggle to figure it out, the more you'll get entangled… sometimes the solution is to not try at all. Be a man, take the pain, accept that it happened, and stop making it worse.
  4. mrnobody26

    mrnobody26 New Member

    Thanks both, yea it just struck me as odd to think she always hated clubbing, her 2 friends shes started going clubbing with were both friends she always said she didnt like much, branded them the sort to take new guys home every week and I recall her saying they did drugs now and again.

    I guess im still in shock with it really, from all our good times, everything we went through and the way we were, I always expected to be treated better if things ever went to pot.

    The virginity thing is another thing that has confused me. Perhaps its because im comparing it to myself. I lost my virginity in pretty much the same ways she did with me. I lost it at an older age (20) to someone older than me. We ended because it didnt work out but never once did we try to rub each others faces in it and even now I always have time for her. If we see each other in the street we talk for ages. Shes the 1 person who I was with that I still have time for as friends.

    I can only guess that she wanted to lose her virginity to me as she thought I was "the one" and believed losing it was a special thing. However after losing it she realised its not as special as she thought and so perhaps has now seen theres all this catching up to do for the times she waited around behaving herself whilst looking for the one.

    Your right really about her not being ready to settle down. That does hurt because I know I am ready, and always believed she was ready too. Whilst if we see the reality, no matter how good things could of been, there would of always been a point where she would of realised she couldnt commit and so I was always going to end up hurt.

    I know I need to remove every single trace of her from my life, and as said not to try at all with this figuring out. Just gonna be difficult at this time since its approaching what would of been our years anniversary and of course after that date its the run up to xmas, which was our best time together filled with memories... A point where I believed not only was I with the best looking girlfriend I could ever dream to have, but someone I had plenty in common with.