I really want to go. To check out. Why am I even here in the first place? No, there's NO ONE that would miss me. Not one person. If I killed myself I would be one of those stories you here about were the landlord has to open the apartment because of the neighbors complaining about the smell that turns out to be a dead person that no one missed. There was only one. Met her here in fact. Almost two years ago. Just when I thought things were growing between us she said "get lost" instead. And for no good reason. I'm tired. I really am. I just want to lie down and sleep and never wake up. I really do. And don't tell me to hang on it will get better soon. I heard that MORE than 20 years ago. Yep, NOTHING for 20 years. No one for me. Emptyness, loniness. I'm tired of it.