What's the point when you are so scarred and jaded by life and have nothing good to offer anyone else other than making them miserable as well? I have a son who needs me....but sometimes I think I do more harm than good. He just seems like a very confused little boy who doesn't understand why his mommy is sad all the time. Maybe he takes it all to heart and I'm ruining him too. I can't have a relationship with anyone because they don't want to take on the responsibility of helping to care for my son for the rest of his life...and they can't deal with or accept that the pain that I carry from all that and even before him just never seems to go away. I'm.....damaged goods....and I'd rather be dead than be a cancer in the life of everyone I know. I have no redeeming qualities. More and more I truly believe that I just....wasn't meant to be here to begin with...and maybe the fact that my life has been nothing but a train wreck from Day 1 is a sign that I've always been living on borrowed time that I didn't deserve to begin with. I need to start planning for the inevitable, I guess.