what's so wrong with me???

[Unregistereangryconfused]

I feel so incredibly stupid sometimes. I have a friend whom I have deep feelings for. We are very affectionate with eachother, very, but he doesn't want to be in a real relationship with me. Some days I feel okay about it and just try to accept that I am not his type, then others, like today, I feel so down in the dumps. I feel like he is just using me most of the time. I like the affection he shows me when we're together and I think he likes it too and I start to think that we have more than what we really have. I start to get emotional about him. I know I am digging myself a grave. Everyday, I wonder what it is that's wrong with me that he just doesn't want to be with me. I don't understand. The only thing I can conclude is that he IS just using me and that he feels like there is someone else better for him out there. I feel so stupid. I don't know what to do. If a guy likes you, he will be with you right? If he doesn't, and you're stupid enough to think he does then he will use you as much as he can right? How can you love someone that's just using you? How can you be so stupid? I feel like he deserves better than me all the time and I think that's part of why I can accept it somedays... but other days I am at a loss. What is so wrong with me? Why can't you just be with me? It makes me feel like shit. I feel so rotten. I feel used. And I am used. I'm such an idiot. I know he will hurt me. I know I won't be able to take it.

 

[wheresmysheep]

to be perfectly honest it sounds like he is using you.
do you want to be treated this badly? i'm sure you dont.
Regardless of if you do or not, though from what you said i dont think you would choose this, it is not what you should start a relationship form, or base it on.
Get free of him. what he is doing is wrong, and unfair.

 

[poisonedresistance]

maybe he is using you? maybe he doesnt know what he wants!

at the moment he is having his cake and eating it by the sounds of it.

Have you tried backing off and not showing him the standard level of affection??

If you truley believe that he will hurt you and that you will have difficulty in coping with that, then you are realy saying that no matter how much you want to know him, you dont realy know him.

Wouldnt it be better to end this now while you could perhaps get over this guy, than leave it in the hopes it will develop, knowing that if it doesnt you may be in too deep???

 

[LetItGo]

There is the possibility he just genuinely doesnt want the commitment? He is having his cake and eating too. That doesnt mean he doesnt care about you. Maybe he just doesnt see you as full time, life long, relationship material. Its whether you can cope with that or not. If its hurting you, then it's probably best to move onto someone that can commit. It sounds like its playing on your mind a lot, and you don't deserve that.

 

[Stranger1]

I think he is using you and will keep on with this behavour until you put your foot down and move on.. H e surely isn't your other half..You need to get back out there and find Mr. Right, someone who is going to care and love you in return.. Don't stay in this relationship it's not healthy and there is no reason for you to keep hanging on.. Take Care!!

 

[Acy]

This is a tough one, emotionally, for you. If your gut says he's using you, consider that our "gut" feelings are often right. I'm sure he likes you, but he may not be in the right space for a committed relationship. I'd back away to protect myself in a situation like that. I'm not sure I'd withdraw all contact, but I'd be wary and I wouldn't start or continue to do things that could leave me feeling used in the end.

If he actually is just in a period of "not knowing," your backing off may refocus him to think about what he DOES want. If he doesn't want you in the way you want him, you stand in the path of some possible some deep, deep hurt from him. I hope you are careful for your sake, hun! I wish you a resolution that brings you good things in the end.

Whatever happens, you are a valuable person. He or someone better than him will want you to be that special person. No matter how this turns out for you, it seems that there are doors that you could open so you can explore more living and life.

Stay safe, sweetie! :hug:

A.