There was a time (A LONG TIME) - when I would have said, to direct , or make a film 🎞 / movie 🍿 🎥 . . . But hose days a re so far in the rear view (& the temporarily suspended disbelief with which I ... whatever the heck you want to call it “thought,” I maybe could - delusion? That said, I suppose many or most sound this way prior to ... unless they were hand fed; but even that is no gift, in this line of work. . But we’ll, it basically wrecked the rest of my life; becaus there were a great many other things that I gave up on -my self ,included—where I would and could but evidently should not have continued on in such a way or on such a path so as to have a moderately successful, more ‘normalized,’ life. For instance the graduate degree in the health sciences, and that is just one example; but I stil remember going / thinking - “if I do this, then I can’t do that!“ &that was basically that! Oh, Christ! I can t even see what the what I type—. —fucking—! ;D