I came here wanting to talk, realised I've included my full name as my forum name which is maybe not so clever. I'm 53 married and alone at home while my wife has gone up to her mum;s and I think is having a breakdown. I was nearly strangled at birth and suffered from oxygen starvation. On day 3 I was bought to my mum rigid with rage on the nurses hand. I was sent off to boarding schools from 8 - 16 and was only 'released' after I couldn't take any more of the Tom Browns schooldays regimes. Numerous suicide attempts just dont' seem to finish me off - what the hell are you supposed to do? After a year and £850's worth of psychotherapy 4 times a week until 10 days ago I got to the point of not seeing him as my enemy; but with the 'breakthrough' that I only wanted to kill myself as the only means of getting back at those nearest to me, he completely ignores the other side of me which actually wants to not be here. Does anyone here experience that thing that today is a very long year?