Therapy & meds just aren't cutting it right now, and I'm really scared I might do something drastic. Part of me is screaming just to do it already, I have a plan, my note is almost finished.. i'm ready to go. But part of me is trying to figure out how to hold on and get better. I've been trying to do research on what the next level up from outpatient care is (right now I'm seeing a therapist twice a week, and a psychiatrist monthly who manages my meds). I'm trying to figure this out, but its all just so confusing My main questions are - if you have done some sort of inpatient or residential or hospital treatment (i'm not sure i even understand the difference between these), how was it? helpful at all? Also.. I know the cost situation is bad. Through the end of the year I'm covered under my dad's health insurance, and I'm not sure what it covers exactly.. does insurance help pay for things like this? Thankfully it has been covering my outpatient stuff. And lastly.. how should I even go about this? Every time I see my therapist I mean to tell her things are getting worse, but I get nervous, adn the part of me that's all 'just kill yourself already' convinces me to lie to her. ugh.. i guess those are my main questions. thanks guys.