What's the deal?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Scum, Apr 3, 2007.

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  1. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    So many posts at the moment telling people to 'pull themselves together' or 'stop wallowing' or many other things that basically equate to that.

    They are popping up everywhere, and it's really getting to me.

    If it was that easy then no one would be ill, no one would need sites like this, and many other things would not exist.

    I fight daily to try and make it through, to make things better for myself, but it doesn't happen. However hard I try, be it with professionals, changing my circumstances, looking for reasons to live, trying to move forward, it doesn't make things better, however much I yearn and fight for it.

    I feel like a failure because I can't 'pull myself together' and have everything hunky dory. Believe me, I do everything I can to make things better for myself, yet it doesn't work.

    These posts might help some people, but personally they make me feel shed loads worse.

    Hmm, is this wallowing? Maybe. I don't even know anymore.
     
  2. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    You are right scum in that is is not so easy to pull onesself together. If it were years oftherapy would not be necessary. We try and try to do just that often to feel like failures when things don't seem to change. You have nothing to feel like a failure about. Wallowing, well, I guess maybe we do to some extent. But I think it is more that the more times we can talk to someone about what is causing us such pain, we can begin to desensitize to it, thus making us feel like we feel a little better. If that is what it takes, then let me wallow. :hug:
     
  3. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Thank you for your reply.

    I do feel like a failure if I sit and think about it, but normally I block it all out. I can't see any success because I AM still ill even though I have had help.

    And as for wallowing, I block out everything bad, as much as I can, to focus on the good and get me through the day, yet that doesn't really work because it is still there. I don't have any support or therapy or anything so it's just down to me on a daily basis to try and get myself through and see something positive in the day.

    Ack, it's all confusing.

    Thank you for taking the time to reply. I do value your response so thank you.
     
  4. jupiter202

    jupiter202 Well-Known Member

    Ick, its like when you tell someone you are depressed and they say "cheer up". Yeah ok, cause its THAT easy.
    :dry:

    I understand what people are saying when they say "dont wallow" but sometimes...you just cant HELP it.
     
  5. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Yeah, I agree to the first bit.

    And partially to the second, but not everyone suicidal/with mental health problems wallows. But yes, certainly some do, and sometimes with good reason. Doesn't make it wrong though.
     
  6. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    personally i don't think that wallowing is about being right or wrong it's just not always useful. sometimes i think it is. it's how we come to conclusions, sometimes. othertimes it just gives the negative more time to breed. i'm not saying this because i don't do it. i probably more than anyone does. it is a hard cycle to stop.
     
  7. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    You are SO right!

    Right, you have just enlightened my day with that comment. Well done you!
     
  8. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    i'm glad i could help.
     
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