What's the deal?

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Lovecraft, Feb 15, 2009.

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  1. Lovecraft

    Lovecraft Well-Known Member

    Why is it just about everybody is against cutting? I get some relief and I don't care about scarring. I sterilize the blade and the wounds so I won't get infections, and nobody around me even knows I'm still doing it.

    Why does it seem everyone sees it as inherently bad or counter-productive to feeling better?
     
  2. LastCrusade

    LastCrusade Well-Known Member

    how does it give u a kick?
     
  3. SweetSurrender

    SweetSurrender Well-Known Member

    I'm not against cutting, i see it simply as a coping method but it certainly isn't the best coping tool out there - surely even you see that? I think maybe those that are against cutting are the ones that don't fully understand why people self harm. Self harm isn't about making things worse, it is about trying to keep things together. The ironic thing is that although it works, it won't work forever...eventually you will need more and more cuts to feel relief, you will cut deeper and it will be on your brain 24/7. It is a survival tool, so i'd never say to anyone that they shouldn't cut if it is the one thing that keeps them alive. But, at the same time, i don't think it should be thought of as the only tool out there that will make everything better, there are much better ways to cope with negative feelings, but a person needs to be ready to try them and accept them before they are much use. I used to get so angry when i read that self harm was a maladaptive coping tool, it made me feel so dumb that i couldn't learn the 'right' way like everyone else. Now i don't allow myself to feel those feelings of guilt and shame, sometimes i even allow myself to feel proud that i've made it to this point regardless of what i've done on the way.
    I've realised now that those people who i felt were saying i was bad/stupid etc for cutting, weren't trying to make me feel worse than i already was, but explain/show me that what i was doing wasn't the only path i could take.
     
  4. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I am a self harmer, but really, self harm just shows that generally you don't have the right coping mechanisms to deal with situations when they arise. Self harm is also often a symptom of some larger problem. It also solves absolutely nothing. For example, if you have an argument with someone and feel bad, and cut, then it doesn't solve the argument, or anything, it just provides a very short term release.

    To be honest, there are far more positive and successful ways of coping with whatever is going on, and with time, if you want to, you will learn them, and if you want to in the future, you will be able to stop. However, that will be only your choice.
     
  5. LastCrusade

    LastCrusade Well-Known Member

    i still can't understand how does cutting give relief? does it makes one more focus because of the pain?

     
  6. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Self harm can bring relief in different ways for different people. It can be that the emotional pain is too great and having physical pain is easier than emotional pain, it can be that a particular emotion is overbearing and the person does not know how to express/release it and so devises their own method, it can be that someone gets 'instructions' on what to do to themselves, and so following those instructions gives them a break in their head, it could be that someone hates themself so much that punishing themself by harming eases the hate because they feel they are doing something about it. It can be so many different things that give release.
     
  7. Lovecraft

    Lovecraft Well-Known Member

    I do it for the poetic justice of not only feeling, but being broken. More practically though, I use it for a natural high from the release of endorphins. It's pretty much a drug. It won't solve any problems, but I don't need it to. Relatively speaking, my life is awesome. I realise that. The only problem I have is that I'm forced to feel depressed and suicidal all day long because neurotransmitters aren't doing their job. I keep the process sterile and I control myself to keep from any real damage. It keeps me farther away from the edge. Why is this a problem?
     
  8. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Why is it you feel the need for someone to say it's ok? Or rather, to say it's not a problem?

    Saying that your life is awesome, yet also saying you feel forced to feel depressed and suicidal is a bit of a contradiction. Have you sought support to try and work through whatever is causing the depression and suicidal feelings?
     
  9. SweetSurrender

    SweetSurrender Well-Known Member

    I don't understand poetic justice, but then again i'm a very logical and realistic person and don't have a creative bone in my body. I don't self harm out of any poetic angst, i self harm because when i'm so depressed it is often the only thing i can do. It is really quite boring and rather pathetic to be honest. If it isn't a problem for you then thats fine, it is your life and your body, do with it what you want. But there are other ways to express that feeling of being broken, ways by which people might even be able to hear you, rather than hiding it away. But if you want to do it through cutting though then fair enough but don't expect people to understand and say it is okay. They won't.
     
  10. SweetSurrender

    SweetSurrender Well-Known Member

    I don't think cutting or any type of self harm can be fully understood by those that have not. To be honest it is hard even for those that do cut to understand - i mean it doesn't make any sense does it, that causing pain helps relieve pain? That makes no sense whatsoever but, there are different types of pain, physical and mental. Sometimes physical pain is easier to deal with than mental pain, it is easier to understand, and easier to make better. There are so many reasons why people cut, a lot of which 'Scum' has explained. I can't explain all the reasons, only why i self harm, and even then i'd have difficulty explaining it, because if i was able to put it so easily into words i'd be telling people and not doing it! :dry: Sometimes when i feel really emotional all my senses are hightened, sometimes i feel like i am going to explode but by cutting i release those feelings...to an extent. It makes the next few hours/days/weeks more managable. I wouldn't say it makes me more focused, but it can stop me flying away. I have a problem with depersonalisation, where i don't feel i am within my skin, and cutting gives me a sense that yep it is me, i am here because i can feel the pain.
    I'm sorry i'm not that great at explaining it all, i'm sure someone else would do a much better job than me.
     
  11. Lovecraft

    Lovecraft Well-Known Member

    I want to know why it is so looked down upon. I want to know why I need to keep this a secret to keep myself from being asked - perhaps forced - to stop.

    My life is *relatively* awesome. I've never even flirted with the poverty line, my parents are very loving and understanding, I don't struggle in relationships and I'm told I'm well above average in intelligence. Great, huh? I'm saying my depression isn't based on traumatic events or a lacking social life. I'm saying this to try and make it clear I'm not looking to self harm to fix problems, which would be unhealthy.

    Yes, I'm in a residential program at a hospital right now. I have workers and doctors trying to fix this.
     
  12. SweetSurrender

    SweetSurrender Well-Known Member

    It isn't looked down on. I'm curious as to who exactly you are referring to when you say that? Are you scared of disapproval? I don't display my SH for all to see simply because i'm not defined by my self harm. Just because i self harm doesn't mean i'm exactly the same as every other person that cuts.

    I don't think anyone looks to SH as a way to fix things, it is a way to cope with things. You are obviously struggling with depression, and this doesn't need to have been triggered by some catastrophic event in your life, but there are underlying self esteem issues. Noone with half an ounce of self-respect tries to hurt themselves - unless they get something out of it. Some people may cut because they think it looks pretty (dunno who but some people do cut shapes and stuff), some people may cut to look tough, some people may cut because they don't care about themselves, some because they want people to see and take notice of them for once. If you need to cut, then do so, i for one certainly won't judge, but there will be reasons for why you do it, unhealthy reasons. Maybe when you are able to discover these and deal with them, you won't want to SH anymore.

    You don't need fixing anymore than i do, but you do need positive support to realise that you don't need to SH for people to listen to you. I hope you are able to find your voice.
     
  13. worlds edge

    worlds edge Well-Known Member


    Presuming you've asked the High Priests and Priestesses of the Church of Psychiatry, what do they have to say about SH exactly?


    If you want them to stop, just tell them your insurance only covers time already served plus 48 more hours. They'll have you out the door so fast you might need a re-admit for whiplash. :rolleyes:
     
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