What's the difference...?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by KittyGirl, Mar 13, 2010.

  1. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    A couple of my friends and I were having a... more serious than normal conversation last weekend.
    Basically; friend 'A' asked me why I haven't had sex since my boyfriend broke up with me. She knew that we were very... active, and she couldn't fathom why I wouldn't hop into bed with the next guy to ask me out.
    (I haven't been able to go on a single date yet. not ready. -__-)
    friend 'B' said that I am not a slut-- I'm a nympho.
    I'd never thought of the difference before. I'd always kinda assumed that it was the same... maybe not as a 'slut' < but someone who enjoyed sex multiple times a day... yeah.>
    She said that a nympho is a person who will latch themselves onto one single person and commit themselves to that person.
    Okay! Yeah-- that's what I am, I guess! 0__0

    I can't see myself ever having sex with a person other than my ex. I just can't! It bothers me!
    Although when we were together I had no problem with *where* or *when* we did it- I didn't have a problem with it as long as it was with him.

    Is that it?
    Has anyone else had this problem before?
    I'm worried about this- as I've been for awhile- becoming a problem in my next (if I ever do move on -__-) relationship...
    Do couples normally have sex 3-5 times a day?
    ummm... no.
    not really, I don't think...

    So, I know that I do have a problem with addiction; but is it okay for me to continue like this, or is it going to cause me alot of trouble in the future, and I need to stop it?
    ack >< I don't even know what I'm saying anymore... help.
  2. Tobes

    Tobes Well-Known Member

    A nympho is someone who is addicted to sex (or wants sex all the time), and gets it as much as possible, sometimes with whoever they can. You aren't a nympho. Just because you had sex with your partner 3-5 times a day (was it consistently that amount?) doesn't necessarily make you one either. Maybe you were just very attracted to him, or you just enjoy sex alot. I'd say the former, since you haven't slept with anyone else since the breakup.

    Hope this helps.
  3. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    well, it's not like giving it a name would suddenly make me feel better about the whole thing... I'm still pretty confused. ><

    um-yes. Any day that we were together (so... as long as he came home from work at night, had the day off, or tried to sleep in) it was at least 3 times a day. Every day... for the last 5 years of our relationship.
    It was less before then because we didn't live together, or see eachother every day -- and for the first 2 years, we didn't do anything sexual because I wanted to wait until I was at least 16 before we did.
    Some days though, it would end up being more than I'd care to count... and he would complain about being too tired and it hurting. XD
    I'm a horrible person.
    It's kinda funny actually telling someone this kind of information though...
  4. Tobes

    Tobes Well-Known Member

    I wouldn't say you are a horrible person just because you were sexually active. A lot of couples have sex multiple times a day, and it's probably quite common among young adults. Even so, you have every right to feel the way you do. When I was with my girlfriend we would have sex multiple times a day, and it wasn't a big deal. I totally understand not being ready to date again, you were with him for over 5 years, so it's perfectly normal to need time before dating again. As far as I see it, you're a totally normal person, and you had a healthy sexual relationship with your boyfriend.
  5. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    wah T__T

    Thanks, Tobes...
    I've been thinking for a long time that I'm not normal and that I've got a problem- but I guess if it is a problem at all, it's one that's fairly common among young people.
    I suppose that talking to my older friends is like looking in a whole other category and I shouldn't be so quick to judge myself based on what is normal for them.
    It's different for everyone... but I'm still worried that it'll become a big problem once I start to step out of my little bubble and try to become a more social person.
  6. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    From everything you have said, I don't think there is currently anything wrong with you at all. You have only had sex whilst in a 'proper' relationship, you have been safe, you are not putting yourself at risk.

    You have a high sex drive, and you know what? That's absolutely fine; everyone's sex drive differs.

    You might find even when you try to become sociable that this doesn't change, because it might be your morals/belief only allow you to have sex with someone you care deeply about, or are in a relationship with. And that's absolutely fine- far safer for you than sleeping with randoms or having one night stands.

    It sounds very much like you are grieving for your relationship still, and that's ok too.

    I agree with what you said that you definitely shouldn't be so quick to judge yourself. As long as you are safe, that's the important thing, every person has a different normal (which is why reaching for a normal never works) and its ok to have a different normal from your friends.
  7. Ceti

    Ceti New Member

    Having sex multiple times everyday is not an addiction. From a general view most couples do not have sex multiple times a day. Now understand that most women do not achieve orgasm during sex, if they did orgasm every time like most men don't you think the numbers would go up? Plus how much time do most couples even have? If you are younger it's likely you aren't working long hours and have more time to see your partner and probably do not have kids.
    I really don't see why you are trying to make this seem like a problem. To a certain extent it feels more like bragging, whether or not that is intention I don't know nor care.
    I simple internet search for nympho would have led you to the concept of sexual addiction. Are you having sex with everyone you can regardless of your relationship status? Are you taking risks sexually just because you want the sex? Are you spending most of your time seeking out people to have sex with?
    No, you are just having trouble getting over someone. It will be hard to do and it will hurt but it is not due to sex.
  8. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    No, couples do not normally have sex 3-5 times a day. But whoever said normal is good?

    Personally, I have a high sex drive in a relationship, but I'm not one for casual sex.
  9. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    uhm... no...I'm sorry...
    I guess it isn't a problem then.

    I wasn't trying to brag -__- that's just silly.
    I guess that I just assumed it wasn't good...

    nevermind then... I'm just a retard. ><
  10. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    textbook definition of a nymphomaniac would dictate that said female would have sex with males without discrimination.

    this , nymphomania, as a textbook psychological diagnosis, was tossed a few years ago.

    there are females with high sex drives and they are not nymphomaniacs.
    i am one, (female with high sex drive) and to be honest i go for very long periods of time w/out a sexual relationship yet i have an extremely high sex drive (one that never lets up, never backs off)
    would rather take care of it myself. ... um yeah . .. than being indiscriminate.

    don't ever let people label you or put you into a box you don't want to be in .. ..thanks for letting me chime in :)
  11. mcviking

    mcviking Well-Known Member

    Nothing wrong with liking sex.