whats the point anymore

[lilella44]

i've just been discharged from a private psych hospital today. i was in there for about three weeks. when i was in there i didnt do much, saw a psychiatrist every day and took my meds. i came out feeling the same, if not worse, than when i went in there. it didnt help me at all. for the majority of the time i was the only one my age (16) in there.
this afternoon my bf has said to me that hes thinking about whether he wants to dump me or not, because he thinks im not trying to get better. i am, so hard. i cant believe him. hes really pissed me off. ive been crying most of the afternoon and cut a couple times coz i couldnt calm down.
i want to kill myself, but just thinking about it makes me feel horrible for my family who have been so supportive through the past two years with my depression. like a patient told me in the hospital, parents should never have to bury their own child.
i dont know what to do. i feel absolutely horrible.
im not sure i want to die. i just want the indescribable pain to end.

 

[Stranger1]

Hello, just curious did they get your meds right? If they aren't it can really mess you up. I would discuss this with your doctor. Each time I got out of the hospital I felt better, except for the last time. I was in there volunteraly. this last time I was in the physc ward at the hospital. They made me go there because of my insurance. The rest of my stays were at a facility called Pinegrove.
I have never got over being suicidal. So much has gone wrong with my life that I been blaming myelf. Don't let what your friend said drag you down. He is wrong to try and force things on you. All that is going to do is cause resentment and you both will go your seperate ways. If he walks let him go. If you start crying and promising things will be better. You aren't being honest with yourself and with him. If he truly cares for you as a friend, he won't stay gone for very long.
You have serious issues you are working on, he should be supportive of them. Well take care and remember we are here to help you. Good luck...:chopper:

 

[Summer.Rain]

Hi Lilella44
You are 16 years old, i am sure you really love your bf and all
but you really should undarstand that relations in such age, well, most of them
never last more the for a few years at best.
One day you will undarstand that, so take it easy with your bf.

Last time i had SA is few years ago, when a girl i really loved told me she
have no interest in me, that when i ODed. But today i undarstand it wasnt worth it. Unfortunatly, today each time i fall in love, its just a pure pain for me.
So i really trying to keep my distanse from girls, thay can harm guys just
in the same way as guys may harm girls.

Im glad your fammily supports you, you are very luck, my fammily loves me
but thay dont do shit to help me.

Good luck
And take it easy, you are really too young to die

 

[Sadeyes]

Hi Lil...some ppl run away when they feel they cannot help a person; others blame the person...you and your bf are young which may be why he is having difficulty now...if he does leave, he was not meant for you...and Mr. Next will be that much more caring and wonderful...stay safe and know we are here for you...big hugs, J