Whats the point in life???

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by robo89, Jun 6, 2011.

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  1. robo89

    robo89 New Member

    I m so fed up of life, it feels like I get in the way and people dont understand when you try and turn to them. I hate the way when you try and turn to someone they look at you like you are a freak. Ive tried alot of things since I was a teenager I straved myself till i was nearly hospitalised, cut my wrists, i tried drowning myself an got caught by my bf, aswell as I got caught taking an overdose an christmas. I cant cope and dont wanna be here anymore life is just a piss take. I just want the world to stop spinning so I can get off.
     
  2. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    i feel the same. i hope you can make it.
     
  3. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    Sorry to see you feeling this way robo89 - but as for the point in life? I guess whatever else it might be - the point is to live it.

    I mean, ideally, if you were feeling better, you'd have things to live for.

    More than likely you have depression of some sort - and don't think you need a reason for that - it CAN just happen to us.

    Even so, I've had depression for couple of decades or more. Most of the time, I coped OK, I mean depression has its peaks and valleys, so when its in the valley I can shrug that monkey off my shoulder - or more like a tribe of monkeys like you see at the Safari parks were the monkeys gang up on cars - take it apart, or they would you might imagine if left all day to do the damage.

    Lots of help is there - for years the only help I had was self help - I educated myself on depression and read up the various treatments and how you might be diagnosed and what diagnosis you'd make for yourself. You learn that depression is a sly bas**** - creeps up on you - acts like a friend in the initial onset and many people who are depressed would swear that they believe 100% that they are failures - 'useless eaters' - existing, but not living because we don't deserve happiness.

    Depression takes all your weaknesses, and uses them against you. It drags up any old guilt you might have - for me, a bad boy in my days, that is easy. I was a bad person, I mean, I'd steal from you just as soon as smile at you.

    Even so, I've been through 'natural guilt' which its good to feel because it at leasts shows that you have remorse for wrongdoing. Most people here have not done bad things - but depression is a master at creating guilt - and will rummage around the almost camera like ability of the mind to log events and record them. Everything we do, all the good, all the bad, is recorded in our mind. We walk around with more computing power in our minds than the entire world computing systems.

    Anyhow, depression has access to all that - the concious memories, and the myriad of subconscious memories we have - perhaps even a memory that goes back to before you were born. Who knows?

    Thankfully, help is there - and my suggestion is that anyone who FEELS LIKE DYING is suffering from depression. When I first felt this - recognised a darkness in me wishing for my own destruction - I felt relieved. It explained a lot to me about the way I was - the 'moods' I'd have which see me periodically retreat from things.

    Bear in mind I'm in my late 40s, likely old enough to be your dad, but depression cuts across the ages, some of us live with it through the ages, but you can still live a life - you can still find something in life that puts fire in your belly - a surging leap of hope in your heart. You can find passions - and not just romantic ones. I'm talking about some passion you HAD and maybe you gave up on it. Whatever you do in life - its the passion you have which makes it worthwhile. Some get lucky - their passion becomes a job! But for the main part, I've worked 'normal' jobs but kept my various passions on the boil - sometimes simmering on a barely discernible low heat.

    You got the passion of love also. Your young, don't worry if you'd not been there yet - it might take time but its worth it in the end. This is not to say love is a cure - it's not. But more than anything its about having one person (at least) who understands how you feel. It will come - but your job is to get yourself well before you go out breaking hearts!

    I know a lot of what I say might seem like nonsense, but I don't mind, you can dismiss it all if you want - but ultimately, we feel good when we are living a life - when things are happening around us. Everyone has a path they must follow - I think we often struggle against it - or with depression, its harder to know what the path is and you need to tackle the depression first and foremost.

    Following a path to your doctors of GP's would be a good first step. Do NOT wait until you overdose - because the next time, you might well be too far gone for the doctors to do anything except to diplomatically ask your next of kin if you wished your organs to be donated.

    Medication might help - but I'd say counselling also would be a good idea. It would help you to get to see whether your depression is linked to any event(s) or if its just an unwanted visitor that came from nowhere, a passing dark stranger who befriends you and turns you against your own self.

    Of course, its actually just a medical issue - depression is being narrowed down to a biological, chemical, electrical trigger in a specific area of the brain. An illness which is being mapped in DNA , as is everything these days! Anyhow, it is REAL - and if any idiots ever try to make fun of it or argue that it's all just played out of all proportion - then your dealing with ignorant people - and ignorant people are in need of their own help - and should follow a path to the local education office or a library.

    Good luck with this - hope you find your path soon - and remember, the point of life or the meaning of life is in the living of it.

    What were your dreams before this all happened?

    And please, do see a doctor - get that out of the way and if your as honest here as you are to them - then you'll be given options - which is more than you have now.
     
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