What's the point of living if you hate yourself?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by fallen1, May 20, 2010.

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  1. fallen1

    fallen1 New Member

    Lately I realised something which bothers me a lot because it really seems like there's no way out of it.
    I've went through quite some bad stuff in my life but I feel more and more like all those things that happen and just happen around me are nothing compared to the way I feel about myself. I just hate the way I am, my looks, my character, my actions, everything. I made too many stupid stupid mistakes. And it's not only this. Maybe I would feel better about myself if I hadn't done those huge mistakes, but it's about general things, things about my identity I can't change. I'm pretty sure I have very serious mental disorders, I wasn't in therapy so far but planning on doing it. It seems to be hexed. I feel like I'm looking at my own life and my own self but can't identify with it at all. I feel so wrong. I don't want to be myself. I don't want to live as myself anymore, I just want to wake up and being able to live a life as a completely different person. I want to change but I seriously don't know if the things I can change are enough change for me in the end. If I only knew if reincarnation exists, I'd gladly end this life. I'm SO ashamed of myself. I tried so hard to make the few close persons I have realise how bad it really is but they don't. I don't see the point in doing my best in life because I feel so worthless. So what's the point of going on? There seems to be no good reason for doing my best. I just hate everything I've become. Sorry for opening a new thread about all this, I'm just so so desperate.
     
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Fallen1, You can't change the past.. You can only live in the here and now...Why don't you join a group like group therapy for depression..Your local hospital can tell you if there are any groups in your neck of the woods..Only you can make those changes..Set yourself small goals for each day.. If you don't acheive the goal no problem just put it at the back of your list to try another day..
     
  3. shazwackers

    shazwackers Well-Known Member

    Please go and see a doctor asap..I'm sorry you are feeling like this but you can get help that can make you feel a bit better about yourself.......then you can start to tackle the issues you have.

    I struggled on my own with the same thoughts as you.............full of self-loathing............for years..........and that didn't change until I saw a psychiatrist and had therapy. Now I still have the mental illness but no longer despise myself.........all the very best...........shaz
     
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