I'm Steven. I'm 18 years old. Don't have many friends. In elementary school I was made fun of. I'm in LD classes. and it's really hard sometimes. And, people made fun of me because of that. And, because I looked like a monkey. So, a group of some popular kids who I HATE to this day and always will started calling me " monkey mustache man" and no one knows about it. I don't want to tell my parents or siblings. I want to keep it to my self. I started talking to my mom earlier today and she asked why I never go out on fridays or saturdays. And she said, all you do is play video games. And, that's when I started to feel depressed. I don't work and I have made no attempt to find a job. Don't have my license. My parents try to get out to get my permit. I keep saying no. And, I KNOW one of my close friends now talks about me behind my back. I was running in gym a year ago or so and saw these guys making fun of me. Imitating how I run. I got really mad and really sad. Even my close friend, Kevin, says oh your a pussy and I am. He's not a good kid and hes said to me try smoking a cigarette and I said no and he said your a fucking pussy. real friends don't tell you that. He has even told another person I know and was telling him how much of a pussy I am. I saw the text message he sent to the kid. He said, I'm not a pussy like Steven. I personally, think I'm ugly. My parents probably think oh we shouldn't have had this kid. All I do is play video games and go on the internet. I don't do much at all. It was really hard for me to learn certain things. And still is. And, I don't know how to ride a bike. Whenever people ask me to go and go out with them and say bring your bike. I say, oh it's in the shop or something. Even at church when i'm with my family and my pastor mentions the word bike during the childrens devotion I look down. Even my little cousins make fun of me because I can't ride a bike and all I do is play games and go on the internet. MY LITTLE COUSINS ARE MAKING FUN OF ME! i heard them laughing once when I was at their house just because i'm a adult who can't ride a fucking bike. To me, theres no fucking reason for me to live. What am I doing that people are proud of me for? The best thing my parents are proud of me for is when I graduated junior high. I don't do anything that they'll be proud of me for. Fuck this shit.