What's the Point of Trying...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by LeafQQ, May 21, 2009.

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  1. LeafQQ

    LeafQQ Member

    My family seems to think that after i attempted suicide, and my mom found me in time, that all my feelings of depression simply vanished.

    And, each time i try to let on how i really feel, they start telling me I am ungrateful, too emotional (even the smallest thing sets me spiraling)... maybe I am... i don't see the point of trying if they are just expecting me to fail..

    nearly done with my freshmen college.. then i got a text that my brother sent my dad saying i should take online classes so i dont have to much idle time on my hand which will cause problems...
    that made me soo mad... maybe he is just looking out for me.... but my brother was the only reason i held on until now.. and if he doesn't believe in me.. whats the point?

    everyone says to hold on, it will get better.. but it doesn't... everyone dies in the end... mine will just be sooner rather than later...
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    I'm sorry your family reacted that way. It might just be because they care, but that doesn't make it any easier. Too many people think that those feelings just go away by themselves.

    Have you considered talking to anyone, like a doctor or counselor, to try and get some professional help?
  3. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Can you try and talk to your brother and let him know how you feel?

    Also, as Wildcherry stated, maybe an independent, professional counselor or therapist would be beneficial. Usually, family is too close and cannot be objective with advice.
  4. LeafQQ

    LeafQQ Member

    I don't really feel like talking to my brother any more.. i did tell him last week i wanted to start seeing someone to help me, and he just brushed me off...
    and im too scared to try tell my parents cause they just get mad... its just frustrating... i don't know anymore...
  5. Jack Rabbit

    Jack Rabbit Well-Known Member

    I think it is just that your brother cares. Of course he doesn't understand, normals are incapable of understanding. I mean, how could those silly little things make you want to die? Makes no sense. Don't be silly.
    All you can do is be patient with him and try to explain. I'm not saying it will work, but if you love him, you've got to try.
    The problem with depression and suicidality is that they are invisible. If they caused big red blotches normals might believe it was real. That's why this place is needed. You can talk about suicide here and it will be understood.
  6. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    You could try attending a support group for depression. You dont have to tell anyone in your family that you are attending. Most that I know of dont need any kind of parental signature on forms or anything. You go and if you want to you talk if you dont that is fine too. There is no pressure. But like being here it is comforting to know you are in a room of people that feel and understand the same things you do. Not people who cant comprehend it at all. And they usually have information on resources that you may not of even thought of on your own. And if cost is a problem most are free and the resources are usually free or a pay as you can rate. It wouldnt hurt to give it a try. Contact the local mental health facility in your area and they can get you info on where and when the groups are available. Like I said it's just like being here but with people that are right there. Good luck.
  7. LeafQQ

    LeafQQ Member

    I guess he does care… but I have been trying.. maybe I should stop dropping hints and just come out and tell him… but I already know what he is going to say.. “in life you cant be weak”…
    I just feel like they are treating me as some extreme mental case… like im alienated cause im not as strong as everyone else…
    I like this place cause everyone here is un-judgmental.. . I wish my family was like that..
    Its life I guess…. I don’t see a point in dragging myself till im old… doesn’t make sense if im not happy.. and most likely will always be…
  8. LeafQQ

    LeafQQ Member

    I think I will look into seeing a support group... maybe i wont feel soo alienated.. Thank-you...
  9. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Hope you find some thing hun. I tend to isolate very much and my support group is abotu the only place that I dont have a problm going to. It really does help to have someone that undertands listening when you need to talk. Good luck and drop me a pm when you find one, just like to know what you think.
  10. LeafQQ

    LeafQQ Member

    thank you... i will pm you once i find a group... im kind of nervous about attending one, im really awkward in social situations... i always keep to myself... but i guess il try give it a go...
  11. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Yeah it took me a few visits before I could really add anything at group and I still tend to just sit and listen. But it is so much better than not going at all. It just feels good to be in a room of "real" people that understand because they have or are in the same place as me. It really is just like SF except you can see the people you are talking to. I think you will do just fine. Just dont push yourself or expect too much from yourself cuz nobody in the group is going to expect those things from you. Relax, very few people in group actually bite. A few might try to nibble but never bite!! lol. Good luck.
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