whats the point ???

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by _Lily_, Dec 10, 2014.

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  1. _Lily_

    _Lily_ Forum Buddy

    whats the point ?
    skin is crawling cant find my tools
    need to die
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hey...what's going on for you? Has something in particular triggered you? Talk to us here, we won't judge you.
     
  3. _Lily_

    _Lily_ Forum Buddy

    i feel bad because of my eating disorder and my mental health ...i see someone tomorrow my T last week in T she went into my past a little
    and it triggered me a lot i felt so bad that i wanted <Mod Edit:Methods> my husband stopped me from doing it
    i feel bad tonight my eating is really bad and its only now that am getting help
    i use eating disorder sites and there is one that kinda support those with eating disorders sometimes it negative but its help me i feel loved there
    and i love the people there but she told me not to go on that site
    she wanted me to go on other forums
    but i basically did the opposite of what she told me to do i think she going to be pissed with me
    i feel like i shouldnt be here i am making life harder on my husband and family
    my husband gets no support at all he is my carer and he dont work because of my mental health
    i feel he'd be better off without me

    am going to bed now hopefully i can sleep feel bad and really want to cut but i cant find the tools
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 10, 2014
  4. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Hey, it's tough having an ED. There must be a good reason why the T asked you not to be on a specific site.

    Your husband clearly loves you and cares about you. Suicide will hurt him deeply , no one recovers from a suicide of a loved one. He's not going to be better off without you.

    Why is your skin crawling?
     
  5. _Lily_

    _Lily_ Forum Buddy

    there are bugs under my skin i need to cut them out
    i love my husband so much am just scared he dies before me and am left alone
    scared that something will happened to him am always on edge
     
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Ho olaf I understand that things are very hard for you right now but you need to take one day at a time, think of today not tomorrow or the day after. Is you husband ill or is that just general worries that you have? I think you need to stay off of those pro eating disorder websites, they could possibly be making you even more ill and for obvious reasons are not good for you at all.

    I hope you had a good nights sleep, I was actually going to reply when I woke in the middle of the night but I fell asleep by the laptop. We do care so keep talking to us.
     
  7. _Lily_

    _Lily_ Forum Buddy

    about my husband its general worries
    the eating disorder forums are supportive and i cant seem to leave it
    Its kinda like an addiction sometimes it helps being able to talk my ed with out having to edit number or weights
    i know i need to leave but there so much pushing me to go there
    Yes i slept ok got a up at 6 am because i went to bed so early
    my sleeping pattern is screwed
     
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    6AM isn't such a bad time to get up :) As long as you're comfortable and doing something to pass the time.
    Do you mean they are supportive in a good helpful way and not in a way that is detrimental to you health? I hope you mean the former. You CAN recover from this. Do not give up without a battle! :hug:
     
  9. _Lily_

    _Lily_ Forum Buddy

    its kinda in the middle the members there are supportive in a healthy way they post back to posts that have tips on them or people asking for tips they dont encourage people to fallow the tips
    and when someone comes looking to diet there they ex plane that an eating disorders and the effects of them but there some who will still post tips but most of them are derailed by members
     
  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    In the middle...a grey area. I am sure there are sites just in support of eating disorders. Perhaps just stay on those, they can and will help if you give it your all.Whatever happens, I wish you luck, good health and the best for you :)
     
  11. _Lily_

    _Lily_ Forum Buddy

    my T basically asked my husband to ban the ed site but he cant do it as there no way to ban them
    i deleted my account then a day later i rejoined
    i cant do what my T is asking
    i need that site
    i cant go through Christmas with out it theirs no other way for me to cope with things
    i see her on Thursday unsure what she is going to say
     
  12. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Its an unhealthy need to feed your ED, what about avoiding online for few minutes and do something else everytime you feel like going to the website?
     
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