Seriously tell me that. What is the point of sticking around in a world that is nothing but misery and letdowns. Cause i sure as hell dont see one. All I do is hurt myself and those around me. I dont mean to but i cant help it. I hate myself so much. Im seriously talking about a self loathing so deep that it transcends normal emotions and has a much more primal nature. I dont deserve to ever feel happiness, which by the look of things i never will. I seriously want to die so damn much. I wish my first attempt had been succesful. It almost was. some guy pulled me from my car before i had fully sucumbed to that quite common yet ever so lethal poison. It was one of the worst feelings i have ever experienced when i woke up in the hospital and realized that i had failed. It would have been so nice to fade into the lonely cold depths of death, never to return. but im starting to ramble. sorry. I just feel absolutely awful right now. my mind hurts. im sorry to trouble you.