whats the point?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by music_addict, May 20, 2007.

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  1. music_addict

    music_addict Well-Known Member

    Seriously tell me that. What is the point of sticking around in a world that is nothing but misery and letdowns. Cause i sure as hell dont see one. All I do is hurt myself and those around me. I dont mean to but i cant help it. I hate myself so much. Im seriously talking about a self loathing so deep that it transcends normal emotions and has a much more primal nature. I dont deserve to ever feel happiness, which by the look of things i never will.

    I seriously want to die so damn much. I wish my first attempt had been succesful. It almost was. some guy pulled me from my car before i had fully sucumbed to that quite common yet ever so lethal poison. It was one of the worst feelings i have ever experienced when i woke up in the hospital and realized that i had failed. It would have been so nice to fade into the lonely cold depths of death, never to return.
    but im starting to ramble. sorry. I just feel absolutely awful right now. my mind hurts. im sorry to trouble you.
  2. kindtosnails

    kindtosnails Staff Alumni

    i agree, what is the point?, i feel much the same as you. Except, i don't the energy to finish my plan and i probably deserve to stick it out anyway. i don't have anything of use to offer you, but hope that you find some sort of happiness and peace.
  3. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    all i can do is encourage you to hang in there. life is always changing and brings good things our way. with depression it's hard to enjoy those things i realize as much as anyone, but we need to take what we can get.

    our you in any therapy right now? or are you taking any meds?
  4. music_addict

    music_addict Well-Known Member

    I thank you both for your comments. The fact that you both took the time to read and respond makes me feel a bit better. although, i dont think i will ever find true happiness and peace.

    also, Insignificant, you asked if im in therapy or on meds. Unfortunately, im not. I tried therapy but it felt like the therpist didnt really care and was actually a bit condesending, so i stopped going. as for the meds, i have an inherent distrust of pharmaceuticals. I always think that there is stuff in them to try to brainwash and control the masses. yes, its strange thing to think, but i guess im a strange person so i guess it fits.
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