alright so I am pretty sure I am just gonna go through with it and kill myself now. I have a plan, so I think I am just gonna do it. I just do not see the point of living anymore. I was happier than I am ever going to be again last year, so why would I keep living if I am never going to be that happy again. My life has already hit its climax, so what is the point of living? I try to sleep as much as I can now. I take sleeping pills all the time just to put me to sleep. I am so much happier when I am sleeping. Then when I wake up I just miss her so much and the pain is too much. I think if I kill myself it will just be like going to sleep forever.