Whats the point?

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by liveinhope, Oct 9, 2008.

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  1. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    I feel somewhere i should be grateful for not having successfully taken my life though god knows how im here, well my guardian angel i guess (jo), but i am having a really bad day and all i keep thinking today is whats the point , this is nearly 4 weeks on and what have i achieved, totally nothing i cant even go the shop alone as panic steps in not that id been before today, but was told if i didnt try and go the community team would be escorting me tomorrow, so i did go with my son, but god i couldnt wait to get back, why? i dont know because im not feeling comfortable here-like a visitor thats not staying an outsider, no one is making me feel this way its just me who ever me is because i sure as hell dont know anymore i cant sleep, eat, go out, relate to my family so why am i doing this? will it get better? i really cant see that being the case today, in 4 weeks i havent had one good day something to hold on to something to focus on something to hope for its just all gone, im here in body but have nothing in spirit:sad::sad:
  2. patacake

    patacake Well-Known Member

    My friend

    it almost breaks my heart to see that sad and lost look in ur eyes , i have moments where i wonder deep in ur heart whether u will always wish i had left u be , but i also know u understand i never could :cry: , I know u dont feel it right now in urself hun but i just want u to know ,

    I still care about u the same as i did
    I still believe in u the same as I did
    I have as much admiration for ur achievements as I did

    I still love ya just the same ull always be my best friend , that will never change, ill always want u to be safe and happy but am realistic to know those are things i can only hope for and must not demand or expect .

    When I look at u I see my dearest friend ravaged by memories ,torment and misery , and know that u have every reason to have felt the way u do. I know what an arduous journey the fight can be some days , but selfishly im still clinging to the hope that u will carry on , knowing ull never have to look far behind u to find me , (and u know how comforting it is having someone who u know is more random than u - slightly off the beaten track even ) but believed like u do that friends go the full distance for each other and never ever give up on each other even when they do so on themselves.

    :hug: cling to me hun :hug:


    Jo xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  3. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    I would have done just the same , you know i would and for anyone, i feel like a leper(?spelling) without the rash , the further away people are the more comfortable for them, but in some ways for me to im just not winning this battle could be one of the first ive lost im sorry i am trying it just isnt happening:sad::sad:
  4. patacake

    patacake Well-Known Member

    well u know thats not true of me hun , if i wasnt at work id be there , everyday thru the day while kids were at school , drinking all ur coffee , im always with u anyways hun u know that - :hug:
  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi Dawn. Don't feel bad. The key is to take small steps to get better. You've been through a lot of hardships. It takes time to recover. :hug:
  6. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    It's ok that you feel you haven't achieved anything in the past four weeks. Give yourself a break. Be ok with not being ok.
  7. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    It's natural to feel this way but we're all glad you didn't succeed and we all want you to stick around. We care about you and just want to see you happy again. Take care of yourself :hug:
  8. shazzer

    shazzer Well-Known Member

    Don't be so hard on yourself hun. I know I've don't know you but I'm glad you didn't succeed and are still here with us. I just hope you will get the help that you need so you can feel better about things :hug:
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