what's the point

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by hopeless, Nov 5, 2008.

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  1. hopeless

    hopeless Well-Known Member

    i can't stand life and there's no end to it.

    nothing i do is right.
    i can't take care of myself.

    my in-laws have to take care of my baby.

    i can't be with my husband because
    he's afraid i'll kill myself- i actually
    a plan but i had an ounce of sanity
    left in my bones and told him the day before.

    i can't find a job, and i don't know if
    i could even manage to work.

    i'm at my wits end.
    i try not to cut, but i cut
    i try to take my meds, but i forget
    (i don't think their helping much anyway)

    what's left to do
    i don't want my daughter to have to live with
    such sorry excuse for a mother
    i can't even take care of her

    she's gotten to the point where she
    doesn't even want me anymore

    she wants my mother-in-law and sister-in-law,
    and her cousins because they are the ones
    that are actually taking care of her.

    i love them so much that i would
    kill myself so they wouldn't have to
    put up with me anymore.

    i'm just a waste of space anyway.

    if you new who i really was, you would agree with me
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hello Hopeless,
    I am sorry you are so down on yourself. Right now I am at rock bottom myself. You still have that ray of hope left in you or you wouldn't love your daughter.
    You should seek a good therapist to help you work your way back to the top. It can be done but you have to put forth the effort to help yourself, the therapist can only teach you not to discount the positive thoughts, and to teach you coping skills. They work because I have been using them for years.
    Try for your daughter, once she see's how strong her mother has turned out to be, then she will come around. I wish you luck!!~Joseph~
  3. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    You have to pull yourself together hopeless, and reclaim your life. YOU are your daughter's mother, not anyone else. She needs you in her life, no matter what you may think. You have to stay alive, for her sake and for your own sake. Everyone has difficult moments in their life, but it's no reason to give up. Please try to find the strength to carry on. :hug:
  4. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    The point is that you love your daughter and she needs to know that. Nobody else can be that for her. I understand how hard it must be for you when you feel so down yourself and how feeling that you are not good enough just makes things worse. It becomes a sort of self fulfilling spiral but you can fight it and you can beat it. As she grows up your daughter will learn to understand the situation and the more she realises how you fought the more she will love you. Best of luck.
  5. hopeless

    hopeless Well-Known Member

    thank you everyone for your support

    i have tried therapists and meds and hospitals and nothing works

    it seems like as soon as i find a therapist that can help me i have to move away-it's quite frustrating

    the therapist i have now seemed like she was going to help and now she keeps making excuses not to see me
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