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Whats the point?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by angelbabii407, Mar 10, 2010.

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  1. angelbabii407

    angelbabii407 New Member

    Im to the point in my life where I want to stop feeling.
    My husband didnt come home a few months back, text me the next day saying he hated me, wanted a divorce, didnt want anything to do with our son, called me everything you can think of. 2 days later he had a new girlfriend that he was madly in love with. He would openly flaunt it in front of me. I thought my world was collapsing around me. I had just started a new job, I was a single mother all while trying to deal with all my husband randomly sprung on me.
    3 months later he tells me that he was going thru some stuff, afraid of the future and scared. He convinced me, over several weeks, that he loved me and wanted to try again. I loved him so much, so I agreed.
    About a week ago, on my birthday, he sits me down, tells me he loves me so much, he wants to always be there for me but that we just cant work anymore and he wants to continue with the divorce.
    We had a trip planned for this past weekend, we agreed to still go and see how things went. He ended up promising me that he would try. We would try the therapy route, he would try to be more opening and talk to me more, as would I. And so on and so forth.
    Last night, he refused to come home again. Told me today that he loves me and will never stop but that he cant be with me. I found out he has been cheating on me and is "in love" with another girl.
    Im heartbroken, upset, confused, lost, you name it.
    I feel like I have nothing left to live for.
    Whats the point?
  2. ghazi

    ghazi Well-Known Member

    YOU are the point. Normally i would not suggest the following, but you need to start somewhere. You need to hang on, that is the important thing. The part i am reluctant to suggest is the reason why: show him, hell, show YOURSELF that you do not need him. He has broken your heart more than once; now take control. It is ok to turn inward a LITTLE...to protect yourself from the pain. a word of warning: opening up again is a monstrously difficult task. you MUST be able to reopen yourself to the world again...otherwise you will truely never be happy.

    Remember, happiness is undefined without sadness to balance it. Your time of bliss will come.
  3. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry you're having to go through all that pain...and those mind games he's been playing....you deserve better than the way you have been treated...
    and on your BIrthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..What the........!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I hope you can find the strength to keep going for you and your son...
    and as ghazi said....show him you can live quite well without him...
    I have been without the 'love of my life ' for over 3 years now and it's ok...wouldn't go back and put up with his philandering and lies anymore....always love him..but no more..
    it can be done....focus on yourself and your son ...I know it's not easy but you can make it....
    I hope you'll keep talking to us...lots of people who care and lots of support...hugs
  4. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    What's the point? The point is your son, and the point is not letting this loser man win.

    He has treated you appallingly and disgustingly and I'm so sorry he has done it time and time again. Maybe you can look at this as a clean break, a fresh start and maybe make some changes in your life to make it so? Maybe a hair cut or makeover? Shopping trip? Picking up some hobbies or doing volunteering or something?

    You are worth far, FAR more than he has led you to feel and believe.

    Please keep posting.

    I'm sorry that you have arrived under these circumstances, but also, welcome to SF.
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