What's the Point?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Frend, Jul 28, 2010.

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  1. Frend

    Frend New Member

    Hello All,
    I can understand that life is precious,we are here for a reason,there are solutions to all problems - but I don't see the point of continuing an unhappy,painful life. Besides depression, I am dealing with financial,health,
    and other issues. Some things can be changed, others can't & will just get worse. I have seen therapists & dealt w/ depression, but here is still always something missing. I am in my 50's, after years of feeling this way you reach a point where you say why continue being unhappy? I can't see a reason to live in pain. As bad as death is, I see it as either nothing or going to a better place & either option is an improvement. I have felt this way for a long time, I am tired of "hanging in there" - I have to ask "What for?" I would appreciate any help...
     
  2. Azmodius

    Azmodius Well-Known Member

    Hey Frend. Yeah, usual platitudes and cliched words are said all to often, and can seem insufficient at times, but I can try to help as best I can.

    Combination's of different factors, health/money/other with depression inevitably aggravate the situation, and no one can genuinely tell you that it will definitely get better, but it's about grasping for a branch. Anything you can to keep going.

    I don't know what your problems are specifically (feel free to vent or say if you want, you don't have to if you don't want though), but death is permanent, final and without return. If there's even a tiny thing to keep aiming for, a family member out there, a friend or potential friend (for example, the people here!), consider staying!

    It seems hopeless sometimes, but I'm here if you need anything. As are others here, we can support each other. Feel free to ask!
     
  3. Frend

    Frend New Member

    Thanks Azmodius, It's nice to know someone is listening.
    I have a few problems, some have easy solutions,some don't. But it seems that regardless of my circumstances, I am still "me", but just in a different setting. I have been up & down,had good jobs,bad jobs,friends,no friends-
    but there is always that underlying emptiness - something is missing. If I change my life for the better, I am unable to enjoy & appreciate it. Thinking about having to live like that for another 10,20,30 years is like a prison sentence. I've had years of counseling,meds, - it's great to speak to someone & medication is helpful, but it's not enough. I'm basically a positive person and optimistic, but after years of trying & hoping & thinking about a better life, I can't help but think " This is your life,what you see is what you get.
    I heard a talk radio show,the host said " Everyone has this illusion of happiness: The great job, partner,etc., but there is no happiness - Life is tough,it's a grind. Sure you have peaks: your kids wedding,graduating school,getting a good job,etc, but overall,it's no party".
    The guy may have taken it to the extreme, but I tend to agree a bit.And that brings me right back to What's the point?
    Anyway, I can't explain my whole life in a paragraph and I don't expect a simple solution in a paragraph. But maybe I'm not looking at things clearly?, am I missing something? Has anyone ever felt this way and turned it around? Does anyone feel this way and doesn't know what do?
    I'm open to suggestions,thoughts are welcome. Thanks!
     
  4. kuAVKoii

    kuAVKoii Member

    Frend,
    Some words about your life made me understand your point. I'm about thirty years younger than you, but I have been through a period of reflection about my real life since some years ago bad things happened to people I knew. I felt useless, it seemed the end of it and I went through some embarrassing situations that now I increasingly want to live.
    You are seeing your life as a whole. Stop and try to concentrate your energies to think about good stuff you did during your 50 years. Think about small things, but important ones that people made to you and you appreciated it. I know that if you look deeper in your past years (take a time for that and don't be in a hurry) you will find people that cares about you, people that abdicated their commitments to be with you and people that have you as a hero. Yes, believe me, there are people that imagine you as a hero.
    Well, you lived in a time that people didn't allow themselves to think about their lives. A lot of things related to the society life is bothering you. You are assuming all the guilty for all the problems. Maybe some of them need to be solved imediately, but you can ask for help, don't be ashamed. Maybe, if talk to them, your wife, your children, your neighbor can think about some solution for some problem you have.
    About your friends, don't worry. I realized that my own company is the best one. Maybe you should enrich yourself. Why can't you do some stuff alone? Absolutely right that you need friends, but don't worry. The right people will come to you when you have the right thoughts. Remember: bad energies bring more and more bad thoughts and feelings.
    The support my parents give to me at home is very limited, but it didn't make me decide give up of everything. You feel so responsible for so many things and sometimes the best solution seems to be the death. It just seems to be. You, and everybody else, will have problems, always. Yes, we have deceptions in life, we disagree with so many things, we dislike so many people, we lose so many opportunities! But, the opportunities are - almost all of them - created by ourselves!
    Enjoy the best of the life, and think that the problems you have can be solved. It's hard, it's disgustin, it's tiring. But we are all naive. It's not just you that think that problems don't have solutions. You need to think more in a valid solution for them than thinking about a way to give up of them.

    I'm here cheering for your growth.
    Regards,

    kuaV
     
  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi Frend. Sorry to hear that you're hurting right now. Life is really what you make of it. You're in your 50's now and have lived a pretty long life. You have to figure out what is it that is missing in your life and what you can do get it? Please don't give up hope. :hug:
     
  6. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    Ive turned my life around from some pretty hopless places. YOU CAN TOO. IM praying for you and hope you do too. TRY everything to get well, theraoy groups ,emdr,tapping. Try your best and we wil offer help and love too.
     
  7. Soul of a Dragon

    Soul of a Dragon Well-Known Member

    I don't want to come off as a dick, but I can clearly see what you are missing. Where the hell are your kids with their kids? I mean a grandchild would mean a world for you wouldn't it???
    Seriously I am in no way qualified to answer a man so much wiser than me I am just 21 what do I know.

    You tried living on the outskirts with little people and lots of nature? I think thats what I will do when I get old. Live in harmony with the nature. Plus living in small village/town always leads to close relations with neighbors, so I imagine my fishing buddy and me just chillin by the river with them birds singing.
    Inner peace for the win.
     
  8. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    I believe that as long as you are alive it is never too late. I find comfort in my faith,family, and friends. I know there are many people here who would like to be your friend; including me, and will help you the best we can. Just getting it out does wonders. So please PM me, and let it all out. I am listening. :hug: :)
     
  9. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey There!! I am in my 50's also.. I live in total isolation.. My choice.. I just don't trust anyone.. I had no friends until I joined this forum..I don't forsee a future either.. The only difference is that I get up everyday and wait to see if anything has gotten better..Thru therapy I have learned to just deal with it..I hope you can hang on and come back here and tell more of your story.. Part of the reason I won't suicide is because of my grandaughter.. She loves me and gives the best hugs ever..I couldn't do it to her..Find something to hang on to anything at all that is positive in your life.. Maybe even find a new therapist and start over fresh..Good luck to you!!
     
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