Whats the point

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Cicada 3301, Dec 14, 2010.

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  1. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    dont see a point anymore, everyday i come back on here and say im going to kill myself but then dont end up doing it because i hear people say your a good person, etc, when in fact im not, and i spend the rest of my time feeling bad inside, hate myself, hurt other people and just want it to end.

    dont know what to do its never going to stop or get better, i have already planned it for friday so i might as well follow it up now, no going back. but unfortunately theres something inside me that wants me to stay but i dont want it to be there.

    :furious::furious::furious:
     
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    sounds like you have some all or nothing thinking (always, never statements). cbt can really help with that. are you in therapy? someone who specializes in cbt can address your thinking. worth looking into before you make that final step.
     
  3. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    dont know what cbt r
     
  4. me myself and i

    me myself and i Account Closed

    not sure myself, but i think its cognative behavioural therapy
     
  5. tiredfighter

    tiredfighter Well-Known Member

    got it in one mate, just you and a doc sitting and talking
     
  6. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    dont want to do any of that stuff just want to end it:mad::mad:
     
  7. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

  8. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    i just cant stand it, its killing me
     
  9. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    can you call your therapist and ask for an emergency appointment? you need the extra help at the moment. if you don't have a therapist i strongly encourage you to go to the ER. they will keep you safe until you start to feel better.

    either way, don't hurt yourself. you can get through this. there is a way out of depression. just hang on until you can get some help.
     
  10. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    no therapist, no er, not gonna be able to get anywhere cuz im 16 so dont own a car, etc
    death is the only option
     
  11. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    you're not thinking clearly. that's why you shouldn't act on these feelings. have a friend take you, or call 911 and have the ambulance come to you. do you live with your parents? could you tell them what is going on?

    if you had a broken leg would you ignore it and try to walk around on it? or would you go to the hospital and get it fixed. get some painkillers and a cast and be seen by a doctor? your mental health is just as important.
     
  12. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    but in a way i dont think a broken leg involves you telling them u are suicidal and im not comfortable gong anyway
     
  13. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i read somewhere that at least 50% of doctor's visits are related to depression and mental health. you won't say anything that will surprise them. they are quite used to it. you deserve to feel better. i don't want you to try anything because depression is quite treatable. you just have to take that first step. you've already opened up to us here. it's just one more step to open up to a caring professional.

    when i told my doctor i was suicidal i couldn't even look him in the eye. i just looked at the floor and mumbled it out. fortunately he was very kind and supportive. he knew just what to do. he took care of getting me some extra support. it made all the difference.

    i repeat, you deserve to feel better. you can feel better. you just need to reach out for help. even though you are scared and maybe embarassed you can do it. i believe you when you say you are at the end of your rope and want to try end things. i don't want that for you. hang on.
     
  14. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    say im not so fortunate to get such a caring doctor say i get a doctor who just sees me as another person whos suicidal, how do you even know theyll understand me ive read in loads of places doctors are becoming more loose and as i live in a country where the main religion is Christianity who generally condemn suicide i dont think its a great idea
     
  15. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i guess it would be a big risk. but so is trying to kill yourself. ...

    can i ask what country you live in? maybe there is a member here who is from the same country and can speak to the mental health services where you live.

    when i talked to my doctor about feeling suicidal i was living in ireland (i'm in canada now). ireland is a very catholic country (98%). still mental health services were good. i was treated at a catholic hospital. it was a non-issue.
     
  16. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I live in England (92.7%), i wasnt trying to say i have anything against anybodys religion, i just would feel guilty talking to someone who comes from a religious background and doesnt agree with me.

    Additionally i dont want to be misdiagnosed as i could have other symptoms or syndromes which could lead to depression, mainly involving sleep. It can happen a lot and i could be seen as having primary insomnia or in a state of psychiatric condition, when in actual fact all i could really have is DSPS or ADHD.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 14, 2010
  17. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    where abouts in Canada do you live?
    ^^^ you dont have to answer and can ignore it if you want
     
  18. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    no problem i'm in toronto. been here 2 years. love it. have you ever been?

    there are loads of members here from england. i'm sure they would be happy to share their experiences with you. even if the doctor is christian and thought suicide is a sin i doubt they'd be so unprofessional as to let that get in teh way of helping you.
     
  19. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    nope sorry not been but know a lot about it and most places geographically, I'd say from distance of our GMT time you would be around 4-5 hours behind us here in the UK (sorry i do stupid shit like that):rolleyes:

    Anyway was wondering if i could talk to you instead and maybe later some1 else
     
  20. Cute_Angel_Xx

    Cute_Angel_Xx Account Closed

    I do see CBT with my couseller, you should go to your GP and talk he might be able to put youu in touch with someone. I've had a few specilist talk to me from in/out of school I've been through 2 cousellers only but I am 13 CBT is very helpful trust me, don't forget you said you would see mee becoming president :p x
     
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