What's the point?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Reniah, Jun 7, 2011.

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  1. Reniah

    Reniah New Member

    So I am only 17 and I feel like I have got myself into a rut. My days get worse and worse and I feel so alone. My suicidal thoughts are getting worse and I fear I will do something stupid.
    None of my friends understand me, i'm different and I have had issues ever since they knew me which was when I was 14. I told my parents once when I wasn't at such a bad point they told me it's hormones and that it will go away.
    It hasn't.

    It's just as much about my inside aswell as the outside. I'm pathetic, I took 3 a levels this year, dropped one and today found out that I failed another one. My parents just shouted at me and it makes me feel like i'm not worth it. That there is no point and that I might aswell take my life. My twin brother doesn't help either, the constant names and the fact that my parents say i'm going nowhere and he is going somewhere. I used to be the smart one, the one expected to go places. Now it seems I have no hope in life.
    Don't get me wrong, my parents are caring and I love them but they do not understand what this has done to me it's eating at me inside and no one can help me. I have dragged myself away from my friends and some have started to dislike me. My bestfriend is a guy (i'm a girl) and his girlfriend who is also in the friendship group hates me because I get on so well with him. Apparently she feels threatened and it's stupid.. I have never had a relationship in my life so why does she feel so threatened by me?

    The bottom line is I could write forever about the problems i have had since I was 14, there is so many problems. I'm not happy and havn't been for a while, I just fool myself and put a mask on. I'm pathetic and I want to just end it. Sure people would be upset but they would get over it, no?
  2. LoveBeing

    LoveBeing Well-Known Member

    Dear Reniah,

    Why do you feel you need to put a mask on? Maybe you can talk to your parents about the seriousness and how you truly feel deep inside since they are loving and caring?

    Take careā€¦
  3. tweetypie

    tweetypie Antiquities Friend

    Im sorry you are finding things so hard. Do you have anyone you can talk to like a close friend ? your parents would be better. Sometimes we can be surprised by their reactions of kindness when we really think they wont understand. If not many of the members here will understand how you are feeling and you can message any of us including myself. I think another posotive step would be to see your family doctor and see if they could maybe prescribe you some counselling and possibly a short course of anti depressants or anti anxiety meds. I hope you are feeling better soon hun i really do :hug:
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