So I am only 17 and I feel like I have got myself into a rut. My days get worse and worse and I feel so alone. My suicidal thoughts are getting worse and I fear I will do something stupid. None of my friends understand me, i'm different and I have had issues ever since they knew me which was when I was 14. I told my parents once when I wasn't at such a bad point they told me it's hormones and that it will go away. It hasn't. It's just as much about my inside aswell as the outside. I'm pathetic, I took 3 a levels this year, dropped one and today found out that I failed another one. My parents just shouted at me and it makes me feel like i'm not worth it. That there is no point and that I might aswell take my life. My twin brother doesn't help either, the constant names and the fact that my parents say i'm going nowhere and he is going somewhere. I used to be the smart one, the one expected to go places. Now it seems I have no hope in life. Don't get me wrong, my parents are caring and I love them but they do not understand what this has done to me it's eating at me inside and no one can help me. I have dragged myself away from my friends and some have started to dislike me. My bestfriend is a guy (i'm a girl) and his girlfriend who is also in the friendship group hates me because I get on so well with him. Apparently she feels threatened and it's stupid.. I have never had a relationship in my life so why does she feel so threatened by me? The bottom line is I could write forever about the problems i have had since I was 14, there is so many problems. I'm not happy and havn't been for a while, I just fool myself and put a mask on. I'm pathetic and I want to just end it. Sure people would be upset but they would get over it, no?