What's the point?!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Discoshroomy, Apr 11, 2012.

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  1. Discoshroomy

    Discoshroomy New Member

    Here is the back story. I am very suicidal have been for 90% of my life. I've tried over and over that I can't count anymore.
    I am goin to post this in both here and in the substance abuse. To start I'm in love with my ex fiancé who I feel and have proof she was cheating on me with her/ my non biological sons father! She had slip ups over a year ago and then again this Xmas.
    I've been in the kids life and have been supporting them since the day she found out she was pregnant. I love her and she swears up and down she didn't do anything. It I've seen evidence sayin otherwise. I've hit bottom before been hospitalized, on meds! Nothing works I'm to a point where I'm burning, huffing drinking all I due is work and sit at my house.

    I'm to the point that I feel nothing no pain no anger no happiness! I'm doing two cans of duster a day hoping that one hit will end it all. No luck but I do have the note ready and this is just about my last ditch effort!
    I'm out of options!
     
  2. My older sister recently got married to a really good guy who had a very complicated family situation as well. He is the only child of an affair between his mother and father who were both married at the time. So in essence all his siblings are half brothers and sisters. His mothers marriage was ended and his father got back together with his wife and they are both loving parents who raised John as their own while his biological mother is wretched and selfish. The point is that you don't have to be the biological parent to make a difference in the child's life. Do you care about your children, are you, have you made an important difference in their life just by being there for them? People may be counting on you and your life may make a difference in people's lives. If it has not then that should be something to strive for, a purpose to live for, rather than throwing it away because you are feeling hurt or let down.
     
  3. Discoshroomy

    Discoshroomy New Member

    He's only 2 in may hell forget me as I walked to the cemitary where family is buried I thought of 100 different ways to end it here are my favs bullet in mouth, turn the can upside down and freeZe my orgons with the liquid co2, fire while tied down , hanging myself why hight on duster which is posi le since I have rope and a tree here! I've been hitting the can(duster) I loose time I am going to leave very thing to him that I can I lOve the little guy but I'll never see him again not because I'm goin to die but because I have no choice in the matter cops would rule in her favor she doesn't want me and I'm a failure what else do I have? A good friend of mine hung himself about a year ago in a month or two. The only thing I can say is he had the balls to do it and I am jealous of it!

    May 10 2010 at 8 lb 10 oz I remember that day even when I'm dead I'll never forget him!

    Your real daddy loves you Brenton Andrew and always will! Don't let yourself be like me! I love you all
     
  4. Get off the drugs and bulls**t and be there for your kid. It's easy to give up, it's harder to make something of yourself, change your ways and make a difference in your childs life which is still ahead of him. You say you love him but you aren't even willing to be there for him, love is about forgetting yourself and being there for the other person. If you love your son you wouldn't be thinking of killing yourself. You say don't let yourself be like me, why not be someone who your child can look up to and turn your life around. You are pathetic and only concerned with yourself, if you cared about others you wouldn't be considering this. The thing is you can still change but you have to make that decision on your own. You have to make the decision to be their for your kid on your own. It's not my life to live it's yours and your sons.
     
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