Seriously – what is the point? I’m trying to figure out the whys and hows and so on. Long term where do I go from here? Or how do we move forward? Yes, one step at a time. But ultimately, if our soul mate is gone and we know that such a deep connection will never again be, how do we continue with purpose? Our purpose, our life, and our breath is gone. How do we find meaning in anything, l mean true and honest meaning? Yes, we may have other passions or interests, but if your influence and main rock crumbles, what are we left with? Yes, another may come into our lives, but each is different and I realize that the same type of connection will never occur again. I understand this. And if we try and try but end up back at zero over and over, isn’t that life telling us something? Or, are we not trying hard enough? Is the responsibility and blame then lying at my own feet? Can’t I just get over myself? Forget my stupid past, deal with the present and be the best I can? And what if this really is my best? Isn’t that crap? That’s no way to be, to live. Am I doing it for others? To prevent pain and hurt? Its not really that there are others anymore anyhow. How rediculous is it to say my animals are my only connection really to anything of meaning? Physical, I mean. But that isn't reason enough-- we all know when the urge or the impulses come, how difficult it is to fight them. I wonder, also, how obnoxious of a person I am. Why should I post? For attention? Others help and assist yet have no need to post but suffer similarly. Narcissistic? It feels that way at times. And this saddens me enormously. (and to point out I may have hurt some with this post by stating animals are my only connection, I apologize) Just ugly. An ugly person inside and out. So, again, I ask… what’s the real point?