Whats The Whole Point?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by MrSoloDolo, Feb 20, 2009.

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  1. MrSoloDolo

    MrSoloDolo New Member


    Thanksgiving 2004, my mom suffered a severe brain aneurysm, was in the hospital until Valentines Day 2005.

    During this time period my bitch dad decided to go in find another woman...

    A few months later, during rehabilitation, my mom learns that my father has been considering a divorce.

    So from 2005-2008, my dad randomly stopped coming home at night, merely coming home on weekends or randomly during the week. He'd come home and leave with various items from the house that he owned (books, photo albums, clothing, etc). By 2006, me and my sister learn that a divorce is most likely in the works. By 2007 my dad and his girlfriend had already had their own house in Queens, New York, living the good life.

    In 2008, my mother begins a somewhat relationship with a co-worker, both my mom and my dad seem to have gone their separate ways doing their own thing. In 2008 my mom also has to choose, with the upcoming divorce, do I stay in New York or move closer to family in Atlanta, Georgia. Also, with the divorce my mother loses her health insurance and other benefits which came with my dad's job (he worked in the Army and at Rikers Island), there's a whole bunch of other shit that I just don't feel like getting into.

    Long story short, my mom decides to move to the ATL, no job, little money.

    Guess who orchestrated the whole move? My father, he joined forces with the man he claimed he couldn't stand (my mom's father) to convince him to make my mom move to ATL against her will. They both arranged for the moving, the apartment, and to have my uncle drive me and my mom there. *sigh*.

    In the position my mom has been, she has issues making decisions, so I try to help and give her honest reason why we should've stayed in New York, her co-worker who she had sprung the relationship with was openly willing to aid and getting a new apartment less than a mile from our old house to make sure we didnt have to move. Everything was going to be fine.

    I detested the move. I detest my father. I detest everything.

    I'm not an asshole or anything...but I have no friends here, nothing to do. I'm basically on the computer 24/7. I suggest that my mom contact her co-worker to return to NY but it ends in arguing.

    I try to help, I always do.

    She says I don't care about her but she's the only reason I'm still here.

    We're both depressed...stressed...everything.

    Sometimes I wonder if her life would be easier without me...I'm just a burden....

    I pray to God to fix everything...but God doesn't care...he/she just wants me to suffer, wants my mom to suffer. We both want to just escape the problems and stress.

    My sister's lucky, she's in college now in New York...

    Why doesn't God answer my calls?

    Why must everything negative happen to me?

    I've never attempted suicide...but recently...*sigh*
  2. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Hi MrSoloDolo and welcome to SF
    Looks like you family is going threw very difficult time right now
    and you defiantly show how difficult it is both for you and your mother
    But you must know that you situation as not as bad as you may think
    first of all you live in the USA, it is a rich country where anyone can survive
    if you or your mom cant work, disability is always an option
    and you both will receive enough money to live quiet well
    If you can work you can try it out and help your mom with some money
    i mean, just to make things clear, as for me i live in Ukraine
    i cant work and i dont want disability because it is only 100$ per month.
    The crisis hits my family very badly, we barely surviving!
    Anyways, hold on in there man, you are in a much better spot then many of
    us here on this forum. Stay strong and dont give up, remember that everything is temporary.
  3. MrSoloDolo

    MrSoloDolo New Member

    Thanks, I was actually reading through your blog before I posted this.

    My mom has applied for disability but sadly has been denied due to her working previously.

    Thanks again for the kind words.
  4. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Well if they dont want to give your mom disability
    then maybe she can ask for other social support, i mean... this IS usa ^^
    From my experience even back in Israel there is social support even if you
    are not "good enough" for disability.
    And thx for reading my blog, i just started it though, few days ago
    not much happened since then, but im trying to update it as much as possible.

    You are welcome to PM me any time :)
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