The one thing that will always hold me back from acting out on my feelings is the thought of how my friends and family would react. I've always considered it a selfish act, even to this day when I'm suffering from these feelings as well. Lately I've been more reckless with my behavior.. I wander off drunk by myself in the woods. I'm a short girl, and I'd have more of a chance of someone hurting me than me hurting myself. And my family could have peace of mind knowing that it was a stranger's fault and not mine. Is it worse to just act out yourself, or put yourself in a situation where someone could to do it for you?