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what's wrong with me / my invironment?

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by Yiouka, Nov 15, 2011.

  1. Yiouka

    Yiouka Active Member

    I don't know what's wrong with me or my environment, but a lot of people around me committed suicide... My aunt a couple of years ago and my sister not very long after that.. My grandpa did it when I was 11 years old and I was so sad about it all, my grandma died awhile after that, she could not handle it anymore.. My best friend ever committed suicide this year and I still think of him everyday.. I hope so that he is happy now... But I still see it happen in my dreams, I was there with him and I could not stop him... I blame myself big time for him to die.. I didn't know it about my other family, I still feel guilty about them too, but I was there when my friend did it*... I had another friend which committed suicide not very long ago, about a couple of months ago, I really miss her too.. I just hope everyone is okay and in Heaven. I'm glad one of my friends survived <3
    Can someone just tell me what's wrong that so many people I know commit or attempt suicide?

    *I will not go in further details because that may be triggering.
  2. Isabel

    Isabel Staff Alumni

    it's hard to explain those things hun. But often, when a bunch of close knitted people start taking that road, its a bit like a bunch of people climbing a mountain and all connected by the same rope. Once one loose grip and fall, it build a momentum and drag the others behind if they are not very solidly anchored in their life.
  3. Joshua2803

    Joshua2803 Well-Known Member

    Sorry for your loss.
  4. Yiouka

    Yiouka Active Member

    @Isabel: it can be.. but the thing is, a lot of those people didn't even know each other.. it really feels like it is my fault...

    @Joshua2803: thank you for your understanding...
  5. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    Ahh, it's something that is hard to answer really. If it is people within a family then the loss of someone you really love can drive you to such extreme measures and it starts off a "domino" effect. Also I think it's down to how people handle themselves when a loved one does pass away. Some might seek help; be that professional or family, and some just hide it away and let it build up.

    Also I think it can be that same kind of effect with friends; if they knew each other. No one really knows because we all have different issues that effect us in such different ways.

    Also none of it is your fault, you have to keep telling yourself that <3

    I hope I haven't offended, just trying to explain my thoughts and opinions. I am praying they are in a very happy place in heaven and that you are "ok"

    Take care :hug: xx
  6. Yiouka

    Yiouka Active Member

    I know that people can do it because other people did but still... I know somehow it's my fault... Maybe I'll stop blaming myself one day but I don't know..