I think i might have dependent personality disorder. I cant do anything on my own. I'm like a big baby. I depend on my ex and my father for my survival. I'm 18 and i still cant do a thing on my own. All we ever do is argue, and I'm always wrong. He says that of course i think that because I'm sick, but it doesn't make any sense. How can everything i think be wrong? How can everything i say to him just be a way to deflect the blame off me? I'm suppose to be starting school (college) in the fall but I'm already depressed and anxious just thinking about it. We just moved to Arizona. I have no one. No one to walk me up to that school and help me sign up and drop me off at my first class on the very first day like a child enrolling in kindergarten. I don't want to have to meet all those annoying people. I hate seeing them looking at me. I feel that they are always judging me, and who can blame them. Look at the tall, awkward kid, who looks complete uncomfortable sitting all by herself trying to pretend that she isn't bothered that shes all alone. Why do some people not mind if they are alone and it seems to kill me? I'm so confused, and honestly i don't think i have it in me to spend years in therapy trying to fix the mess that's my life. No even therapy can kill memories of abuse and pain. I just want to die. I want that sweet relief of nothingness for once.