What's wrong with me?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by ADreamer, May 7, 2013.

  1. ADreamer

    ADreamer Member

    I'm so tired of this. I feel so defeated. I keep fighting, and fighting. I fight to stay alive, half-dead, for my son. I don't feel alive at all. Everywhere I go, it's the same old thing. I don't fit in, I don't belong. I get along GREAT with people who are older than me, but I have to work with people who are my age. They are so mean, so cruel, and cold. Yesterday, after a job-gone-wrong over the weekend, my fellow team-member threw me under the bus. She blamed all the mistakes, what went wrong, on me. She seemed so nice, and genuine. It wasn't so much the yelling of my leaders that tore me down. It was her betrayal. She seemed so nice. I thought I had finally found a friend where I'm at.

    This always happens too. I keep to myself, because when I open up, not long after that I get hurt, AGAIN, and AGAIN. I retreat to maintain a shred of my self-respect, and dignity. I feel so dead inside. I feel like there is no hope for me. I don't want my son to be cursed like this. My sisters have no problem. :( why do I have to be so different? :( And how do I fix it?