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what's wrong with me?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by acid-burn, Jun 19, 2010.

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  1. acid-burn

    acid-burn New Member

    I just what to be happy, but it doesn't work out so please kill me.
    What do I feel? NOTHING. Even when I'm angry I notice that I don't feel anything. I'm emotional empty. My boyfriend says he loves me, but for me it's just rabbish, some easy words. I can't feel his love. I'm not sure if can I even trust him, he's my 2nd lover, and he had a lot of girls before me. sex was just another kind of sport for him. Now he says he has changed because of me, but how can I know? I want to die. I am so lonely. Sometimes I believe that someday I will kill myself. I feel that my suicide day will come fast.
    I don't live I just exist, So lonely....
  2. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    :hug: you feel something hun. I think you just do not want to feel anything. Feelings suck they really really do. They cloud our judgement, and make hurt. However, they also make us feel ecstacy. So feel them, it will color your world.

    As for your boyfriend, trust is essential in a relationship. If he says he has changed believe him, until you see otherwise. 4 years ago I hated women, now I love them. People change, so believe him.
  3. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi acidburn and welcome to SF. Sorry to hear that you don't feel loved by your boyfriend. I also feel somewhat emotionally empty, but I don't use that as a reason to make me feel down. I'm just not a very emotional person. The more emotional a person is, the more vulnerable they are to be hurt. You have to trust your boyfriend if your relationship is going to work. Don't give up hope. :hug:
  4. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    Hi Acidburn

    There is nothing wrong with you. You sound like a high principled person who has been disappointed. Why not develop your spirituality and see what lies ahead. I just said a prayer for you and hope you pray too. You sound intelligent and intersting and very special. Maybe you just haven't found your equal yet. PRAY AND WATCH YOUR LIFE IMPROVE. Prayer changes things!!!!

    write if you like

  5. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    When I used to be meloncholy, it was a way for me to cope. Otherwise, I felt extreemly depressed to where I did not want to do anything, but die. But Life has more to offer than this. I used to seperate myself from everyone and everything. Now I make it a point to be a part of it. I am limited considering I live out of town, and only get to go into town once a week for gorcery shopping, but when I do go out. I try to be nice to everyone, and I talk with everyone. Comunication is the key in every relationship, and once I realized that and put what I knew to use, things became better. Now I struggle with my husband when he does what we all do [hold things inside]. I told him that no one is a mind reader, if he has an issue, or wants me to know something, he has to tell me. Otherwise it isn't fair to expect me to be able to do things I am not capable of, like mind reading. People cannot read your mind. They can pick up the fact that there is something wrong, but it is up to you to share what the problem is. Blessings.
  6. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    I hope you are ok. Thinking about you and you are in my prayers.
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