What's wrong With Me?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by AlexElm, Apr 27, 2011.

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  1. AlexElm

    AlexElm Well-Known Member

    I'm sure most people have read this story millions of times but I don't have a reason to go on. I'm 14, what the fuck is wrong with me? I've seriously considered suicide and if i'm not doing anything, or if no music/video is playing in the background I just feel REALLY fucking depressed. Usually it's just this kind of thing like, yes i'm depressed, get over it but when i'm doing nothing, the floodgates just open. I swear it feels like just waves crashing on you and you're hopeless to do anything.

    Sure, I could fool myself into thinking everything will get better but I remember all the tests and assignments I need and as I grow older it's just going to get harder. What used to keep me going was a person but now he/she passed away and I don't know what to do now. Answer me honestly. What's wrong with me?
  2. wistwand

    wistwand Member

    What's wrong with you? You already answered that, you're depressed. Have you sought out treatment?
  3. Qu33n1

    Qu33n1 Member

    At fourteen I still think you've got a good chance to make things work. Talking is the key. Try to find someone, even councillors. If the first doesn't work for you, try another. At your age you can get lots of help. Don't give up too soon, you still have opportunities ahead of you. You just need to get the right people around you saying the right things and make the right choices. U fortunately can't tell you what they are as I'm on 'here' aren't I, so haven't quite figured it all out yet :( but I would say that at 14, it's not all over. Keep trying my lovely x
  4. ashcrostep

    ashcrostep Active Member

    I would just like to say that I think the fact you were kept going by somebody and now you have lost that person must be a horrible feeling. It is a tragedy in itself to lose somebody you love and trust, and you obviously liked this person a lot. That will only be adding to your problems right now and thats unfortunate to have happened :hug:
    I hope you can keep fighting this as you have so much to look forward to in life. Try and get help from a therapist/counsellor and you may find things seem a little more bearable and they can even improve completely.
    Take care xxx
  5. mortdesinos

    mortdesinos Well-Known Member

    I don't think anything is wrong other than that you are in a panic. When it comes down to it, school should be getting harder, otherwise there would be no point to it. If you're struggling with school work now, be sure to get the help you need but try not to let it take away from time with your friends. You have some great times ahead. You're fourteen for God's sake.
  6. wednesday

    wednesday Member

    *Hugs* You're young and someone close to you passed away. That's alot. Being 14 is hard enough, but almost everybody gets through it. It will get better. You have a lot of exciting things to look foward to if you stick it out.

    I'm so sorry about the loss of that person who supported you. I hope you find someone else to talk to. Talk to your guidance councellors at school, and they will point you towards more help if you need it.

    I like to have some noise going too. i'm feeling much better today since I turned the tv on even if I'm not even in the same room with it.
  7. mortdesinos

    mortdesinos Well-Known Member

    Yes, some of the things that you concern you now will become irrelevant as you get older.
  8. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Life is full of ups and downs.. Right now I would say your down.. Have you talked to your parents about this?? You could use a good therapist to put things in perspective..As far as struggling with school , talk to your guidance counselar and ask if there are any tutors available.. Don't give up...
  9. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Yea I know you dont want to hear it but yes you are young, give your life a chance to start.

    At 14 there was so much I still needed to learn and try, my thinking process is completely differant then it was then, now Im able to control those emotions your talking of, I see the differance between a good day and a bad day and understand that there will be both.

    I hope that you continue to post here and that you find the comfort you need. My box is always open if you want to chat.
  10. AlexElm

    AlexElm Well-Known Member

    I do recognize that I am only 14 and that I probably should have to wait for my life to develop... Something... I also recognize that it kind of seems that it's a cliched teenager mood swings and temperament and I realize things are going to change.
    BUT most of me is already dedicated to study and so if you take studying away from me what do I really have? Nothing, so whenever my study starts to falter I feel a hopeless. I know it seems that a 14 year child of all people are having these thoughts, but I have them and since I grew up thinking that studying is the only way to an easier life, I don't know how to stop these thoughts.
    Most of you will dismiss this as some symptom of puberty but when you actually know me, you'll know better. I'm feeling especially shi-down these few days and usually I can pull myself up just a little bit every day, but now... What's the point of pulling myself up when I will always fall down again?
  11. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Oh No Im not dismissing your emotions at all, I started having my own issues around 11 but could have been before that but my memory is to spotty.

    I just want you to know that your life now can change, you still have time to readjust your way of thinking. Im 33 and I can still remember some of the emotions I had at your age, there were times I felt like I was going to explode, everything just grew and grew inside of me that there was no more room for anything.

    I want to explain it a way that makes sense, think of it like putting air in a tire, the air is the issues that surrounds you, so if you keep putting more and more air in then theres no room for you to think, to let you process what you need to do, its like you get crowded and everywhere you turn theres depression or anxiety waiting to hit you in the face. You have to take the time to stop and let some of that air out, even if its just a little here and there, whether it being medications, therapy, exercise, whatever your stress reliever is. If not you will explode and the depression/anxiety whatever will take over.

    Look around you and see what your options are, are there options for you to tutor other kids, maybe read to kids at library or seniors at homes. Maybe be a big brother, kids have a way about them that brings out the social in you.

    So please dont let us undermine your feelings, we just want you to know that it is your life and what you do with it is up to you and only you.

    Hope today is treating you better than yesterday.
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