Hello everyone. I'm Denise from the Philippines. I was feeling really suicidal for the past weeks and was looking for a place to receive, and of course give, support. I don't really know how to explain to my family, boyfriend, and friends about the way I've been feeling. I've been feeling quite alone and isolated. When I'm not suicidal or depressed, I'm quite a fun person to be with. Friends come to me for support and advice, and I do my best to support them to the best of my capabilities and abilities. I'm a writer. I read a lot. (Recently been reading Sue Grafton novels.) I cook and bake pretty well. I like the outdoors, especially the beach. I'm a running fanatic and have plans to run a half mary in September and a full mary in January 2011. I do Yoga and Pilates whenever I can. I eat pretty healthy, though I do indulge myself sometimes. All this healthy living is my way of coping with my eating disorders. I suffered from anorexia, bulimia, and compulsive exercise for over 4 years in varying degrees. I've been in recovery for 3 years now and so far, it's been good. It's always in the back of my mind, wanting to give in and relapse, but I've managed to catch myself in the beginning stages, before anything got out of hand. People in my life don't really understand what I'm going through and what I'm feeling. And it takes too much mental and emotional energy to explain and make them understand. I try but for the most part, they think I'm overreacting to problems, or that I'm being too emotional. I'm tired of feeling like I'm wasting their time. So now, I just keep to myself. I was in therapy for a couple of months but I find it really hard to explain to my therapist all the things I've been feeling. Everything is so systematic with my doctor and I'm just bursting to let things out. I want to get to the bottom of things, but sometimes, you just want to vent, you know? So now, I've stopped scheduling sessions. I want to go back, but I feel like it's going to be the same. Well, anyway, so much for my introduction. I've already started venting. But thanks for reading. Hope to get to know people more during my stay here.