When all is falling down around you

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by tattered, Oct 30, 2014.

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  1. tattered

    tattered New Member

    Feeling bad. My mom fell and broke her knee cap today. Never really been in a big caretaker roll. Don't know if I can handle it. Having suicidal thoughts. I should be thinking of my mom . Why am I so selfish !
     
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    You are not selfish - you are asking a fair and legitimate question of if you are going to be able to handle something you have no experience in. The truth is you need to ask that exact question but to the Dr or nurse that are treating her to find out the full scope of your responsibilities if you choose to accept the role of caregiver during her recovery and then make an honest assessment of if you can manage that or not. If you cannot then there is no shame in it- do what you can do while maintaining your own sanity and well being and make clear what you cannot do so other arrangements can be made. Do not let anybody "convince" you you can do it all - particularly other family members that simply do not wan tot do it themselves.

    If you can provide the care and not completely disrupt and ruin your life for the amount of time required and you WANT TO, then do so- if any of those do not apply then do not do any more than you can and want to do and tell the medical providers to make other arrangements for her care. Do not let anybody fool you into believing in some obligation that does not exist - the only place that obligation exists is a parent to a young child and even then there are hundreds of "outs" for those that would if they could but simply are not capable for any reason at all. Caring for your parents or anybody else besides your child is an optional thing - and making yourself sick and crazy is not going to help them near as much as using a different approach and simply acting as an advocate to ensure somebody is providing the required care even if it is not you.
     
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