when all you do fails

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by total eclipse, Aug 28, 2009.

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  1. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i have tried put on pretense that everything is fine i know what to do
    have done everything to try to undue but i can't change anything
    can't help her heal i just wish i could find a way out someway to stop all this
    i just want ot rest and have some peace why is that so much to ask
    i tried not to ever ever hurt anyone but i just cant keep going there is just too much pain in my heart too much saddness watching her the way she is
    i just want it to stop how do i make it stop. ive tried everything even prayer but the he never listened why now.
  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Violet, I don't know what to say, but I'm thinking of you. :hug:
  3. peter simon

    peter simon New Member

    Who is it you want to heal?
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i don't care about me really i can deal with me i want healing for my daughter i don't want her to suffer like my twin my brothers i don't wnat her to have this mental illness. Please pray she heals i can look after me i can if only she gets better. In healing my daughter you heal me. please i just want her better. I never ask for help for me because i can take care of me always have I just can't help her when she falls apart so do i. Can't explain it but thats how it works. please just prayer for my daughter okay make her stronger and better please. somehow she and this child inside me i get confused and if she is well then the pain inside me heals too. crazy yes but true.
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    :hug: How is your daughter doing? Is she still battling her addiction?

    Thinking of you x
  6. Polar

    Polar Account Closed

    Hi Violet,

    I have complete admiration for the way you care about your daughter.

    I will be thinking of your daughter and you. I'll be wishing only the best for her and the best for you because you both deserve healing.

    Please don't forget to take of yourself too.

    Kind regards,

  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    My daughter is still battling her addictions she had a relapse after 2mths of doing well She starts new program so hopefully they will help her with different coping skills. She is still very unstable emotionally she phones me and wants me to go see her but i can't I don't do driving well and she is so far away. I talked her through how to get on taxis to bus to train then i would pick her up there. She made it home good for her eh. Her room mate took her to bus terminal so she settled down a bit but i hate it when she calls me for help and i can't be there i go crazy. She calls me alot which i want but i can't help her and it kills me. She is home with me now for weekend I can breath now but she goes back on MOnday then everything starts all over again. Me being alone and her not coping without me. We need each other it seems to survive but we also kill each other because of this need.
    Thank you Polar and Irish Girl for your support and care i appreciate everyone here.
  8. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    But violet, you are helping her hun. She knows she can call you and you will do whatever you can. And even if it's just listening to her over the phone. You know yourself just how much it does for a person when someone else just listens!!! She understands your limitations. Sometimes all we can see is the negative things we have to offer others. But isnt it strange how they can only see the positives and call us when they need some love and support? So please hun, stop beating yourself up. Your daughter obviously loves and trusts you. And it more than shows just how much you feel the same for her. Keep letting her know you are there for her when she needs you and even when she doesnt. Be strong violet. You have your friends here that will help you when you feel like you're not helping her. x's & o's
  9. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Thank you Itmahanh for showing me that just being there for her by listening does help.
    I think your right because i try so hard to calm her i try to make her laugh and see we all falter at times. I want to do more but can't she is so far away from me. All i can do is stay strong for her keep fighting the battle like you do for your children. I want to so badly give in some days but won't because i know it will hurt her. What is wrong with me i can't just stay strong just can't keep my mind from falling apart just so much pain i had buried now it won't stay buried because she is not with me i have too much time by myself i don't like being by myself it hurts too much. My twin call she will come home in 4 weeks then i won't have to worry abt me no more I will have her to look after she will keep my mind busy Thanks for your kind comments really your care helps me alot I hope you are doing well these days and that your family is well too take care of you okay as i have seen your pain as well and i pray things go better for you sending you support to:hug:
  10. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    That is our downfall. We need to help others. It is how we keep ourselves going and strong. It's how we keep the hurt and thoughts buried. And when those we help move away or seem to move on, we start to fall apaprt. I dont know how we can fix that. But for now if helping others is all I can offer then it's better than nothing. I'm glad you will have someone else around soon. Take some time off then. Try to get out and do some fun things. Cuz if you are like me, when the time comes and they leave again, you arent going to be going out and enjoying much of anything. But I'm here when you need someone hun. Maybe we can start a girls night out at SF (lol). I'll bring the wine and you bring the cheese!!!(lol). Hang in there!!
  11. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Thanks you are so right helping others is all i do know thanks for your help and yup a girls night out here sounds great to me. And ill bring crackers with cheese too. Take care
  12. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    what I am beginning to learn/discover about life (and I am no spring chicken so I have some experience under my belt) is that we never DO get to that point where there is peace ..not a constant peace anyways..just like happiness is not an end goal it is an emotion that comes and goes.There will always BE hard times,down times,but there CAN be good times and laughter and joy too..small moments...a reason to perservere..
    if we wait for that day when everything is just alright and no more problems..we will wait forever.That is why we have these forums and support groups and why humans need togetherness..we all need each others shoulders to lean on...you will have mine anytime you want it here violet..
  13. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Thank you Ashes Away for your support your right we need to enjoy those days when all seems right seems happy because they are too few. Spent time with my daughter this weekend quiet time and i hope she is able to go back now and continue her treatment without any more set backs. The only way i will have true peace is knowing she will finally obtain the tools to survive without me. she will finally be independant enough to move on and have a life of her own as i know i won't be here for her forever i want only for her to be well. Thank you for your insight and support
  14. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Forgot to thank Peter Simon and Acy for your replies thanks I have my daughter home and my twin for long weekend hope all goes well i think it will. I work evening shifts but will spend morning withthem everything will be alright just keep saying that so it will be that.
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