Sooo i'm just sitting here and i was thinking.... I've been messed up for so long that suicidality has become normal to me. Where most people might recognize or be scared by their thoughts, its just another day for me. I feel normal, but i know i'm not. Like the week i stopped eating because i figured od'ing on an empty stomach would be more effective, like alcohol when you dont eat. That was just a normal week for me, i never even considered telling anyone or talking to a proffesional. I was going to die casually lol. So i guess what i mean to say is that i dont know how far i'll take it. I dont know when i'll feel like off'ing myself. I dont know that i would stop it. That is all.