When did you realize you were depressed and that it wasn't normal?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by A1231988, Nov 27, 2010.

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  1. A1231988

    A1231988 Well-Known Member

    I've only been on and reading this forum for a day now and it's already making me feel better. I was just curious when you guys realized you had a problem. I was depressed since about 13, but didn't actually start believing it until I was an adult. How many of you know what caused your depression?
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Mine was highly connected, initially, to PTSD as I was tortured and abused as a child up to the age of 15...now mine is reactive as I cannot walk and lost one of my best friends and month in within a month...J
  3. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    1 year ago nov.

    prior to that one time 15-20 years earlier perhaps...can't think atm
  4. FBD

    FBD Well-Known Member

    when i was in 4th grade. i remember thinking that none of my friends seemed as unhappy as me, and i didnt think wanting to kill yourself was normal...i dont know where i got the term depression, but i figured it out then for the first time. since then its been lots of trying to convince myself that its really true.
  5. Pécheur

    Pécheur Account Closed

    When I was 12 in year 8 I think it is in England? My mum had married my step-dad half a year before. I remember their wedding night he said to me 'I'm the man of the house now, you do as I say'.

    All went down hill from there.

    I didn't actually remember thinking I was depressed, just desperatly unhappy and more confused with self hate at what I was allowing in my life.
  6. Oloriel

    Oloriel Well-Known Member

    I'm still not sure when it really hit me that something was wrong with me. I was incredibly depressed and suicidal in middle school, but I just kept telling myself "It's middle school, puberty and all that crap, everyone's emo, you'll get over it." I forced myself to believe that I was just going through normal teenager crap, that I would grow out of it. I think I still believed that the first time I prepared to attempt, and when I began cutting. I guess I didn't truly realize how broken I was until my breakup with my ex - suddenly I was cutting every day, exploring new methods of self harm, I was suicidal every minute... Nothing had gone away, and now I was forced to deal with the repercussions of how I had forced all my fears and hate and sadness down inside me where I could pretend it didn't exist. This was also when my counseling began, because it was the first time I was unable to function with my depression and I was unable to hide it from those around me.

    Anyway, all that was last February/March. So incredibly recently, considering I have been depressed since I was about 11 or 12. (I am 21 now.)
  7. A1231988

    A1231988 Well-Known Member

    It was the exact same for me.
  8. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    I realized that it wasn't normal when i started cutting.... :(
  9. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i was depressed for so long it felt normal. even cutting, which i started when i was 14 felt normal. i first thought of suicide when i was 12. it was only when i got into therapy in my 20s that i realized that somethign was wrong, and that i didn't have to feel this bad. it took me a while.
  10. GreyCat

    GreyCat Well-Known Member

    Started selfharming and obsessing about death and suicide at twelve. Drugs booze etc at 14, thought it was just my nature until someone told me I had depression at the age of 23, have periods of feeling alright but for the last few years I've been getting lower and lower, to the point where I'm struggling to keep things together. Up until now, I have always felt like shit, but have managed to keep a job, flat, things like that. I feel myself letting go now though and its not right and I need to fight it with everything I've got.
  11. PiecesMended

    PiecesMended Well-Known Member

    I realised I was 'unusual' in primary school but that was sort of something that got shoved down my throat. I started hearing voices around the ages of 10-11. My life turned to shit when I was about 12 because I got badly bullied at school. This is around the time I became suicidal and started to SH. Then when I was 14 I started to realise that it wasn't normal,I forget how.
  12. In Limbo

    In Limbo Forum Buddy

    When I realised I was scared of getting better
  13. MightyMatt

    MightyMatt Well-Known Member

    I think I've always had troubles... I was in therapy from a very young age... I think the first time I realised I had real problems I was around 13/14.
  14. skyisburning

    skyisburning Well-Known Member

    It's gotten progressively worse over the last 6-7 years, but about 2 years ago, during the summer, it got to the point that it was consuming me physically and emotionally... And I remember coming home from work one afternoon, and my mom could tell something was wrong, and I just started sobbing and telling her about all of the things I think, and she just goes, "This isn't right. You shouldn't think this way." (I feel like that sounds mean, but it wasn't, I promise)

    It didn't hit me until then that I was depressed...I just assumed everyone was that miserable too, until that point.
  15. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    I was around 7-8 when I noticed things were differant for me. I really didnt feel it until my early teens though. Now in my 30's its still hanging around but Ive learned so much on how to control it and notice my triggering points.

    Now if I could just learn how to turn it off. That would be great.
  16. MightyMatt

    MightyMatt Well-Known Member

    Hey when you find out how to turn it off will you let me know... Thanks in advance :)
  17. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I started when I was twelve and was molested..At thirteen I had my first attempt..Then I got involved with drugs and stayed stoned all the time until my thirties then I dried myself out and it all came rushing back..I've been depressed and suicidal ever since..
  18. Oloriel

    Oloriel Well-Known Member

    Wow. This hit me hard. I...for some stupid reason, I thought it was abnormal for me to fear getting better. I say I want to be better, but it scares me. I've been depressed for so long, that I'm not sure who I would be without it. Like I just AM depressed, you know? When that's gone, what's left of me?
  19. LogDork

    LogDork Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I've had "difficulties" most of my life.
    The winter of 07-08 I cracked, and knew it.
    I'm in a different world now, nobody seems to know but me tho.
  20. nobody man

    nobody man Well-Known Member

    I don't know the ages but I specifically remember thinking "I'm not as happy as the people around me" in 3rd grade. I wouldn't say it was full blown depression until 5th grade.
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