When did?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Person, May 1, 2007.

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  1. Person

    Person Guest

    When did I become a person with no friends?
    When did I become a person who needed friends but was to scared to have any?
    When did I become a person with a physical ache of loneliness?
    When did I become a person that sabotaged everything about themselves?
    When did I become a person that sought out other people that made her feel bad, deliberately to make herself feel worse?
    When did I become a person that was so scared of everyone she hardly goes out?
    When did I become a person who knew that suicide was best for everyone?
    When did I become a person that was so worthless that no one gave a fuck?
    When did I become a person that people hate?
    When did I become a person that is a shadow of the front that people see?
    When did I become a person that sits all day doing nothing?
    When did I become a person that allowed one fucker to stop me doing things?
    When did I become a person that struggled to fight?
    When did I become a person that is such a useless failure?
    When did I become a person that has a constant inner battle happening, between death and trying to fight for a future and the life that I used to dream about?
    When did I become a person that is desperate to move on and away from this, and is trying her hardest, yet everynight she dreams about things that make her wake up in the mornings wishing she was dead?
    When did I become a person with no hope?
    When did I become a person that no one would help anymore?
    When did I become a person that other people wanted dead?
    When did I become a person that others rejoiced about when I was out of their lives?
    When did I become a person that I loathe?

    When did I become this person?

    Why can't I end this pain?

    Why can't something work to make things better?

    Why is it, that no matter how hard I fight, I still end up here?

    Why is it, that no matter how hard I fight, I still end up here?

    Why is it, that no matter how hard I fight, I still end up here?

    Why is it, that no matter how hard I fight, I still end up here?

    Why is it?
     
  2. Person

    Person Guest

    Brain working overtime.
    Too many thought, too many memories, too much that I can't control.
    No where I can go for help
    No one I can go to for help
    No change
    I am losing the OD fight
    I am losing it
    I have no where
    I have nothing

    It's all gone
     
  3. Hazel

    Hazel SF & Antiquitie's Friend Staff Alumni

    Every individual is a person in their own right, each and everyone of us is somebody, you may feel all these negative feelings, but that doesn't make them facts.
    Please come back and talk to us, we are here to listen.

    Take care Hazel
     
  4. Person

    Person Guest

    Thanks Hazel.

    Unfortunately most of those things are fact though.

    I just hate this person I am. I loathe them, yet anything I try to do to make things better backfires, and now I am left facing the future knowing that nothing can make me 'better', so I either have to learn to live with how I feel, or die.

    I'm sorry. I'm just not coping, and I had no where else to go.

    I'm sorry.
     
  5. Person

    Person Guest

    Isn't it strange that when people know who makes these posts using an 'unregistered' name, that they respond en-masse.

    I guess actually it's not strange.

    I'm just jealous that people give a damn about others, and no one gives a fuck about me. But I know that's my own fault.

    Really I should stop being so bloody selfish and be glad that other people who need support are getting it.

    But I do know that if I posted who this was, no one would give a fuck anyway. They would probably be pissed off. So therefore, I remain 'Person'.
     
  6. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    There's a difference between being a bad person and being in a bad situation.

    Being lonely, being scared, being weary doesn't make you a bad person.
    Being misunderstood, ignored or unloved doesn't make you a bad person either.
    These are simply things that make us human.

    When you read posts on this forum you realise we all share so much in common,
    we can all relate to what other people say, think and feel,
    we can feel so much love and compassion towards them even though we often don't express it.

    yes some people may get more recognition, more hugs and love than others,
    but in the end we are all pretty much the same, all equally deserving,
    because we are all simply human.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 2, 2007
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