When do you know if your beyond help?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by TheBLA, Jul 11, 2010.

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  1. TheBLA

    TheBLA The biggest loser alive.

    It seems like a simple question, but with no simple answer. When do you know if things are beyond help, beyond fixing and you HAVE to commit suicide?

    People will say never to commit suicide no matter how "bad" it gets. How bad does it have to get before you are "allowed" to commit suicide? Just like there is euthanasia for people in some parts of the world (some parts of Europe I believe) suffering from a terminal illness like cancer. Are there any other criteria from which I can be allowed to die, barring capital punishment for committing a serious crime?

    How do I know if I haven't damaged my life beyond repair and so I will only endure constant pain and suffering for the rest of my life, and thus why I must commit suicide? How can I know if there is still hope for me and I can turn around and still live a happy life? There has to be a point where you are so pitiful, so miserable and pathetic that you have to be put down. I don't want to just breathe, if you have to live, you want to thrive and be happy, not just survive. I feel like right now, I just want to get life over with, just hurry up and let me die. I wish I could give someone else my life, someone more deserving since I'm not taking advantage of it.

    I know that my depression also plays a major role, it takes away all the positive things and only leaves me with bitterness, anger, hate, sadness, etc.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 11, 2010
  2. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    I too used to feel this way, but no matter what, as long as you are alive you have hope. I personally have been proven that Yahweh can save anyone from any circumstance. It is up to them, to allow him to help them. Suicide is never the answer, and I say this because it is an awful assumption that your life is always going to be miserable. In fact the power to change it from miserable to joyful is in your hands. But people often reject the hope that I put my faith in out of judgement, but it always confuses me how they can try EVERYTHING else and when it fails them they say that they have tried everything. Even those who claim to have tried religion. Going to a church does not make you a child of Yah. Paying the supposed highly taught tith that the churches demand from their flock doesn't either. It is having a relationship, with Yahweh and loving his word and his truth more than the life you want to escape. Just wanted to clear that up. Blessings..
  3. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    There's really no way to tell. You might suffer for the rest of your life, you might not. Only way to tell is to live through it.
  4. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Never give up Rahul. As long as you're living and breathing, you can get your life back in order. It is never too late, unless you're dead, then it's too late.
  5. TheBLA

    TheBLA The biggest loser alive.

    My life just seems like a real chore, a pain and a drag. I don't have plans for the future, no motivation, aspirations, etc. There doesn't seem to be anything for me to feel alive for, to look forward to!

    I feel like I just want to die and get this over with. Whereas so many other people my age are full of energy, life and have dreams, motivations, reasons to live and to be joyful. I remember when I was a child that I wish I could live forever, I'd never want to die as there would be so many things to experience and see. And here I am, wishing for death at such my early age. I don't want to live a long life, full of only misery and suffering because of my miserable and pathetic circumstances of being a complete recluse and pampered, coddled, babied shut-in who cannot survive in this harsh world all alone. I just can't handle it and everyone else can! I don't belong in it! :sad:

    There's people older than me who would love to have my youth for them to live their lives longer and better. What about those who have passed away and had so much to live for? They would love to have my life.

    And here I am, wasting my "precious" life away, and that just makes me feel more guilty and bitter. Life is unfair, I have to live and be miserable and so many people with happy lives suffer or have their lives cut short.

    If I have to live through this chore of a life, I at least want to make the long ride as smooth and bearable as possible. It can't be perfectly smooth, but at least most others don't wish for death at my young age. They just carry on, maybe blissful and unaware. But that's better than feeling the way I feel almost all the time, just hopeless and miserable. I just want my life to be bearable. Do I have to take a pill for a rest of my life just to bear my life and not end it? I don't want to just barely survive, but thrive in this life like all my peers! :sad:
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 13, 2010
  6. nicolaj1992

    nicolaj1992 Member

    Hi Rahul,

    I feel exactly the same as you. I am 18 and have been struggling with mental illness for as long as I can remember and it has got substantially worse over this past year.

    There are some people who think euthanasia is wrong in any situation. I live in the UK and there have been quite a few stories in the media regarding this topic and there is always a wide variety of views which are reported. Most people, who agree with euthanasia, feel that it is acceptable if there is clinically no chance of the person recovering but with mental illness there is almost always said to be a chance of recovery.

    As others have said, there is no way of telling whether things will improve or get worse or stay the same. One quote which I try and keep in mind is: 'Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain'. Therefore a way to avoid suicide is by expanding your coping resources.

    Life doesn't sound easy for you at the moment. Is there any way that you can make plans for your future, what did you want to be when you were growing up, or even before the depression began? Do you have any family or friends who support you?

    Depression definitely feels more difficult to manage when everyone else seems to be enjoying life and making plans for the future. You mention how there are people older than you who would love to have your youth but I'm sure you can appreciate that by you committing suicide it will not give them your youth and will not bring back those who have died, but yeah it does seem not right and makes things feel worse when you're feeling rubbish.

    You say how you want to make the long ride as smooth and bearable as possible, do you have any ideas as to what may help you do this? It seems like you still have a bit of hope that things will change as you are looking towards the future, to some extent, even though the depression seems to be a stronger feeling.

    You don't mention in any of your posts whether you have sought help for your feelings. There are lots of different treatment options, medication, therapy, hospital admissions, so you can't really think about giving up until you have been through all of these as something may still make a difference.

    Feel free to private message me if you wish to talk at any time (as it emails me so I can reply quicker as I don't always remember to come onto this site)

    Hope things, at least, ease up a bit for you soon

    Nicola x


    There are moments in your life that make you and sets the course of who you're going to be. Sometimes they're little, subtle moments. Sometimes, they're big moments you never saw coming. No-one asks for their life to change, but it does. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are ♥​
  7. bluegrey

    bluegrey Antiquities Friend

    Rahul, I have said over and over to friends that depression is almost a psychotic condition. It makes you lose touch with reality with it's false feelings of hopelessness, self hatred and endless horrific thoughts. Depression makes the most routine and mundane daily activities seem terrifying. This is sincere and from experience- you are not a coddled and babied shut- in Rahul, you are doing what it unfortunately takes at this time to get by. Depression often paralyzes my nerves and simply going into a supermarket can make me feel like a helpless mouse being chased by a cat.

    When I think of how bad my life would have to be before I said subjectively I was just too far gone I think of Stephen Hawking but he is not wishing for death because he is not clinically depressed. We are all here at a suicide forum because our afflictions are not sufficiently treated. We have each other to give the strength, support and the information on treatment to keep fighting until we get enough relief.
  8. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hey Rahul. When I was young I also used to wish that I would stay 'forever youthful' and the funny thing is that I sort of got that wish, because I'm nearly 30 years old and I still look like I'm a teenager. I am thankful for holding on to my youthful appearance, but it makes it hard for my students to show me the same respect that they show the older teachers, when I look younger than some of the students. I suppose that I was pampered and coddled a bit too by my parents, but there's nothing wrong with having parents that love and care for you. :hug:
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