When Does It Get Easier?

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by akira, May 8, 2009.

  1. akira

    akira New Member

    I lost my best friend to suicide over 2 years ago. Today something reminded me of him and I got terribly depressed about it. Does it ever get any easier? What steps can I take to stop it effecting me so much? What have YOU done to make your life easier/livable again following a sudden tragedy?
  2. Shadowlands

    Shadowlands Official SF Hugger Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to SF! Sorry to hear that :hug
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Akira and welcome to SF. I'm so sorry for your loss. Perhaps counselling would help you? Have you looked into it? :arms:
  4. AnnaRose

    AnnaRose New Member

    Hey there!

    I lost both of my \"brothers\" to suicide. It\'s hard. Its been 1 year and 3 months since the first one commited suicide. As far as it getting better, give it time. Maybe go see a counselor and he/she can work with you on ways to ease your emotions.
  5. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    I lost my best freind to suicide at 30, we had been best of friends for abut 12 years. Never saw it coming, but there were the little things that keep popping up even now, little clues. There was no way to tie them together with what happened but little by little is has eased over the years.

    Yeah, I still think of him often, but there is no pain or anguish involved. It;s more about the great times and converations we shared. I'll always miss him, but it does ease up a bit. Open to pm if you want
  6. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    hey. I want to welcome you too! I hope you keep posting and I'm glad you found us.

    I basically would say what Lynn said, counseling is always helpful!

  7. Advent

    Advent Well-Known Member

    The answer to your topic title is, yes it does - however it does take time, how long?, well that depends on how you remember the person you lost. I wll explain, always think of that person having fun ( sounds daft right?) and if you can remember an occasion that you both enjoyed together (could be anything) now see the smiles on both of your faces at the time - and keep that in your mind. I lost my mother when i was 23( I am almost double that now) , I still think of her everday, like the time we had a picnic and the wind blew all the food away.......was like a sketch from a TV comedy.

    More recently I lost a pet dog, had her 17 years from an 8 week pup, thats took some getting over also. But although I now have 3 new dogs, i still think of my old girl jumping over nextdoors fence whilst chasing a cat.

    I am not saying I never get sad over these things because I do, but then I try to think back to the happy moments we had together.

    I hope that all makes sence.

  8. wozudichter

    wozudichter Member

    It takes time. So long, I'm not sure where the past nine years went, I thought it was only been six, but then I thought of the date, and it's been nine years. I'm generally not sad anymore, but sometimes it comes surging back and the pain becomes fresh again. I'm sorry for your loss. You just have to survive each day, and then one day, it hopefully won't cause you so much pain.

    sincerely Ron.